Dammit!

The stupid alarm is ringing. What time it is, 7 am?

Oh great, it is.

My head keeps telling me to stay in, my anxiety never sleeps. It's awake even in my dreams. Why can't it just go away? It can't, of course.

Time to get started with the day:

7am: Wake Up

8am: Breakfast

10am: Biology

12pm: Lunch

2pm: Psychology

Classes are pretty much simple: I keep to myself, don't speak until spoken to, and when it's over, I'm walking away. I never speak in my class. When I try to speak I get a familiar voice and the conversation goes as follows.

Me: *walks over to say hi to people*

Anxiety: You don't wanna do that.

Me: Yes I do, and you can't stop me.

Anxiety: I can, and you know how.

Me: Stop.

Anxiety: What if they don't answer back? What if they don't talk to you? What if they ignore you?

Me: Please...STOP!

Anxiety: What if they just look at you like you're nothing?

Me: *heavy breathing and hyperventilating* Stop...please

Anxiety: I'm right, and you know I'm right.

Me: okay...

I barely speak to people as it is. I have my friends, but the voice in my head will keep getting bigger and bigger, and there's nothing I can do, I have nothing and no one to turn to. When I want to go out the conversation will continue like:

Me: I'm going out tonight

Anxiety: No you're not

Me: Yes I am.

Anxiety makes me feel stuck like I can't do anything. I want to socialize and be happy, but my anxiety makes it harder and harder. Every. Single. Day. I get more and more deeper and under. Like I'm going under water and drowning. And I can't do nothing.

Someone please help me.