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Health and Wellness

The Cycle Of Self Harm

Don't harm yourself. Okay?

28
The Cycle Of Self Harm
Huffington Post

Do not harm yourself.

Don't do it.

Your mind may trick you into thinking it will help you, but it does not help you.

So don't do it.

Don't harm yourself.

Okay?

Don’t do it even if you have never hurt yourself before.

If you're thinking about doing it,

Do not harm yourself.

It only takes one time.

That’s it. Just one time. One time will change everything.

Believe me I understand that you're depressed, you're mad, and you're curious, but mostly you just feel desperate.

Desperate for something that will stop your racing thoughts.

Desperate for something that will make you feel like you’re the one in control again.

Desperate for something that will feel "good" again.

It only takes one time.

Then you'll commit. You’ll say - I'm finally going to do this.

You are your biggest cheerleader in that moment.

You are giving yourself more encouragement than you ever have since your depression began. As if you were achieving something great.

But there is nothing great about self-harm.

Your first time it may only takes one small mark for you to feel the frenzy.

You'll look up from your "accomplishment" and you'll understand.

You'll "understand."

Afterward, you'll think you won't need to do it again.

You say - you just needed to know.

But it only takes one time.

It only takes one time before you have to take the extra time to make sure you're “covered up.”

No shorts today - got to cover up the marks on your thighs.

Maybe you’ll have to wear long sleeves in the summer.

Or maybe bracelets suffice

But God forbid your best friend says

I like that bracelet, where did you get it?

You quickly grab your own wrist - your adrenaline skyrockets

There are bombs going off in your mind, and in your body.

Now you have thoughts that you cannot ignore.

Your friend notices your shift in mood and energy level.

You convince her its nothing. At least enough for her to stop asking.

Yet you drop her off home early because you cannot suppress your thoughts.

You need to be alone. - You tell yourself.

But being alone only allows you to do it again.

What I'm doing is not dangerous - you say.

I won't do anything big, just enough for a little sting.

The words of an addict in the making.

But the pleasure from the "little marks" will run out

And just making "little marks" won't last.

And if you don't believe me when I say that,

Well, you need to.

Just like you thought you were weak for not being able to make the first mark.

Now you will think you are weak for not being able to go further.

Again, you will work yourself up with that same kind of sickencouragement.

And you will commit.

You'll look up from your accomplishment, and you'll understand.

You'll "understand."

Maybe you are in a romantic relationship.

Well now, you're keeping a secret from them too.

And you don't want them to see the marks on your body.

Can you imagine how much that complicates things?

You'll have to say no. Just this time.

And the next time, and the next.

You'll begin to push your significant other away, and they won't know why.

You'll get mad at yourself for breaking their heart, and you'll hurt yourself

Again and again.

You'll begin to "choose" to let go of your relationships with your friends and family before admitting your secret.

Because now, you are a true addict.

You harm yourself to stop the pain.

The cycle of self-harm is incredibly gruesome, challenging, and heart breaking.

So please,

Do not harm yourself.

Don't do it.

Your mind may trick you into thinking it will help you, but it does not help you.

So don't do it.

Don't harm yourself.

Okay?

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