I'm the kind of girl who wants to live life to the fullest. I wake up every day and things are pretty much the same. I turn off my alarm, pray, roll out of bed, turn some music on, take a shower, brush my teeth, put my makeup on, look out the window, figure out what to wear, take my medicine, brush my hair, grab my keys and, well, you probably get it by now. It is almost a routine. Oh, and I'm single.

But what if I told you I'm more than that?

So there was this new boy at school... I mean we were already friends for a few weeks so I knew a little bit about him like where he was from, that he played ball, and that he was so handsome. Oh-- and I wanted nothing more than for him to notice me. I mean this is college and everyone is either dating or something like that, right? Even when they don't know the person that well they just start dating, it seems. One week Trudy is dating one guy, then they break up and 10 minutes later Trudy is "Facebook Official" with someone else. It's a weird norm, but it is what it is.

When I say I wanted him to notice me, I obviously meant as more than a friend, because who really ever wants to be "just friends" these days? However, I didn't want to hook up, either, because I'm not into that kind of thing... so is it weird to say I wanted to "date" someone I barely even knew?

One morning, I woke up, looked in the mirror and thought to myself, "This is going to be the day." I put on more makeup than usual, got a little more dressed up, sprayed some (okay, it was a lot) of perfume, grabbed my keys and went on my way.

I saw the new guy sitting right in the front of one of the dorms just hanging out, maybe playing Pokemon on his phone or something-- I'm not really sure, but I say, "Hello _______, I was wondering if you were busy this weekend?"

As I say these words in my head, I'm like "You idiot! Out of all the things you could've said, why didn't you just say 'hey' and keep walking?" But here I am. He's looking at me; I'm looking at him and he's like, "Oh hey A! We don't have a game this weekend so I'm driving *how many ever* hours to surprise my girlfriend." Now I'm like, "Woah, back it up brother. Did he just say 'girlfriend?'"

Then there's me completely embarrassed and I'm sure my jaw might've just hit the concrete, but not wanting him to know I have a crush on him I'm like, "Ohh yeah that's this weekend... Silly me." And I'm thinking to myself now like "Wow you should've never started this conversation. Great answer because you didn't even know about his girlfriend." And he just looks at me for what seems to be like ten minutes as I stutter "Uh... This must be the uh... weekend the guys said y'all didn't have a game... Well dang, I was just wondering what time the game was, have a nice day!" So this was on a Monday and I successfully avoided said guy around campus until the following Tuesday.

"HEY, A!" I heard scream across the lawn as I jolted for my car in the parking lot. When I get there-- I mean as soon as I get there-- I throw my stuff on the car and rummage for my keys as I see him walking towards me.

This is where things get really weird.

I don't know what to do, so I go to the other side of the car and the next thing I know here I am sitting on the ground next to my car like sweating, panicking, and freaking out. Drake would be so disappointed because nothing was going up on this Tuesday instead of my hair early that morning into a messy bun. What do you know, here comes my crush looking around all confused and instead of standing up like a normal human being and talking to him, I start crawling on the ground around my car and by now I'm pouring sweat, like the nervous sweat, and it is gross. And I hear him say, "Hey A! I saw you across the lawn. I just and I... Um... what're you doing down there?" And I'm like crying now-- literally crying-- because I'm panicking and I say through the tears, "I'm looking for my keys, why aren't you with your stupid girlfriend?" And I quickly say, "I mean how was your weekend with your girlfriend?" As I stand up and dust off my knees.

He looks like he wants to run away, but he just starts laughing and says, "Well I just wanted to tell you we have a game tonight and my girlfriend... Well, she was surprised alright and so was the boy she was with. She's also no longer my girlfriend." As if I'm not already in shambles as it is... I don't know if I should comfort him by apologizing or hugging him or maybe high-fiving Jesus because my prayers are being answered, but I don't think before I say, "Oh, wow, bummer. I'll be there, but right now I have to go," as I quickly grab my things off of my car and walk away.

Moral of the story:
I am awkward, but I'm more than that.
I'm laughing. It's okay.
I'm more than an awkward conversation.
I'm not a girl who chases guys.
I'm not even someone who gets nervous, but if some Sam Hunt looking model man was in front of you...
I'm not someone who usually initiates any kind of interaction that would lead to a relationship.
I love the "friend zone," honestly, I do.
I'm not always exactly 100% sure who I am, but I know what I'm not.
I lose my keys a lot.
I don't normally start off conversations by asking people if they're in a relationship.
I am not "Ms. Steal your Boy/Man."
I am in college.
I just want to have fun.
I am awkward.
I am single.
I found my keys, though.