In the best-selling novel "Gone Girl," author Gillian Flynn rants about a social female character whom she dubs "Cool Girl." She defines her in the following way:
“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer... and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth... while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, [hate] on me, I don't mind, I'm the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they're fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I'd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who'd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I'd want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: [she] doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They're not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes ever thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain."
After the release of the film adaptation of "Gone Girl," the discussion about Cool Girl surfaced into the limelight. From what I've found, many people have a dislike for Cool Girl, her actions, her traits, and her lifestyle, for she is not genuine and only acts the way she does in hopes to attract and/or please men. I'm here to voice my opinion in defense of Cool Girl.
The debate of the Cool Girl hit home personally for me because I have definitely found myself time and time again fitting into this category. I grew up with three brothers and no sisters, so being the down to earth, non-"dramatic," relaxed, chill girl that's down to play video games and order a pizza instead of going out on a fancy date has always sort of been a thing of mine. No one ever instilled these things in me through the pressure to "not be like other girls." No one ever made me feel like I needed to be the girl that's "one of the guys" but also not "friend zoned." No one ever made me think that I'm required to watch football every Sunday with the guys I date simply because he wants to. I have always been encouraged to do what I want to do, to not be shaped into something that I'm not by a man or a woman or any other factor outside of myself.
The main issue I have with the way lots of people have responded to Cool Girl is that they make it sound as if it is impossible for women to enjoy "masculine" or "not-so-feminine" things. In the passage from which Cool Girl itself is originally derived, Flynn makes the narrating character (Amy Dunne, a self-proclaimed former holder of the Cool Girl label) out to squash women that are funny, understanding, and enjoy football, poker, or video games. If this whole thing is an argument for feminism, isn't it counteractive that you're minimizing what a female is expected to be interested in? I assume this was not Flynn's goal in her writing, and rather that it was most likely supposed to be an argument for feminism in the sense that men should not make us feel inferior if we do not enjoy very similar things to them. The way I see it is that people should simply do the things they are honestly interested in and like the things they honestly like -- not because they feel pressured to, not because they want to impress someone.
However, in light of the argument that lots of Cool Girls nowadays are phonies, this is what I have to say: people are typically encouraged to be what they want to be, and that is clearly not a bad thing. So if a woman just so happens to want to obtain the characteristics that are in line with Cool Girl, why stop her? Obviously, if the motive is because of a man or men in general, it is not healthy or worth while, and that is the point that Flynn was trying to get at. But if a woman wants to be hot, brilliant, funny, adore football, poker, dirty jokes, burping, play video games, drink cheap beer, jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth, be a vegetarian, love seitan, be great with dogs have tattoos, be a bespectacled nerd, love comics, or whatever on earth else, so be it.
And dare I say this, but if a someone makes a person want to change in the sense of becoming better, I don't think that's such a bad thing. Clearly there is a fine line between a healthy desire to change (typically not forced upon someone, but rather the person is internally captivated to make a change within themselves) and the social pressure that men want women to act/be a certain way. The way I see it is, who cares what a woman does with herself as long as she's doing it in pursuit of her own happiness? And this applies to men as well; if someone wants something for themselves, it should not concern anyone else, therefore, it is none of our business to declare a person's desires to be something or someone as good or bad or anything in between.
Lastly, I don't like the way Cool Girl is coined as exclusive, as in if you don't fit the description of the so-called Cool Girl, you're incapable of being "cool" in general. I think we should do away with that misleading title and just be women. If you're reading this and find yourself thinking, "I share a lot of similarities that girl," so be it. If you're reading this and think otherwise, so be it. As long as you are someone that you like, that is all that should be important. I promise that if you like yourself, someone out there among the seven billion humans on this planet will like you as well. So carry on and be an uncool girl, or a girly girl, a masculine girl, a funny girl, a happy girl -- be whatever girl you want to be, as long as you're being you.
