Who is your best friend? Really, really think about who you would go to if you killed the boy who cheated on you. For the truly fortunate women (and men) in the world the answer is your mom. My mom is the literal sun in which my world orbits. I look at her sweet face and sometimes I think my heart will explode. But with the level of love comes a closeness that is, at times, questionable. It feels as if no question or situation is too gross or personal to share with her. So for anyone that questions, “Is this a normal conversation with my mom?” here is a short list of 15 questions that, despite your friend’s opinions, you can ask the woman whose birth canal you passed through.
1.“Should I shave all of my vagina or, just like, parts of it?”
2.“Can I eat this lunch meat even though it expired four days ago?”
3.“Can you tell me the story of how you lost your virginity?”
4.“I’m drunk and in a creepy Tinder boy’s bathroom. Can you pick me up please?”
5.“Do you ever think about having a lesbian experience for a few weeks?”
6.“How often did you and Dad get high when you were young?”
7.“Be honest and tell me, was I fat in middle school?”
8.“Can you look at my boobs and tell me if they’re even?”
9.“Have you ever had sex on your period?”
10.“Do you think my casual hookups make me a slut?”
11.“Can I sleep in your bed tonight because I’m sad and being an adult is hard?”
12.“Will you look at this mole and tell me if it looks weird?”
13.“I threw up and left it overnight… So how do I get dried vomit out of my shoes?”
14.“Is he actually cute or am I just desperate?”
15.“Do you think if I sleep with my professor he’ll give me an A?”
