I had a “lightbulb” moment a few weeks ago that I have been thinking about ever since. I was having lunch with somebody I don’t normally get to talk to a lot because our schedules are kind of opposing most of the time, but we ended up in the dining hall at the same time, so we decided to catch up. We were talking about summer and how we really didn’t have plans that we wanted to have for the next three months. I was telling her about the dozens of internships that I had been applying to and that I had been rejected by the ones I had heard back from. These companies have very competitive internships, so it wasn’t surprising that I got rejected, but I noticed that I started to question whether or not I was as qualified as I had thought. Considering the fact that I had just spoken with someone else a few days before who received an internship with NASA. Yep, that’s right. NASA. To say the least, the internship rejections were kind of a blow to my confidence.

This person who got such an incredible opportunity absolutely deserves it because anyone who goes to the Wilkes Honors College knows we all work our butts off! I’m more curious as to what made this person stand out though. Is it because they have some of the best grades? Is it because their parents both graduated from college and are in science fields? Is it because they’re always striving to do and be better? Or because they’re constantly reaching for opportunities?

I said to the person across the table from me, “Freakin’ NASA! How did they do that!?”

She replied, “Well haven’t they prepared for this, basically, their whole life?”

“What do you mean?” I said.

She said, “Their parents probably supported them. Made sure their grades were a top priority. Put them in programs outside of school that had to do with technology and science. Plus, they were really confident that they were going to get the internship, right?”

The whole point of me sharing this conversation with you is that whatever you decide you want to do in life, ask yourself this first, “Am I preparing myself for what I really want?”

Sounds obvious, but after mentally reviewing what I’ve done this past year, or even these last few months, to prepare myself to stand out and to actually get one of those internships, it wasn’t looking good. I had support from most people who are close to me, but even so, did I really believe that I could actually land one of these competitive internships? When I think about it, no, I didn’t. I also hadn’t done enough research on the companies or on trends in the industries. I didn’t reach out to people I knew who had previously done an internship there. It was all clear to me in that moment. No wonder I didn’t receive an acceptance email/call.

I know there are times when we feel like we’ve prepared ourselves for an opportunity that we’re reaching for and we still don’t get that acceptance call/email. That happens. But I think that if you look back, you’ll realize (like I did) that you have to be prepared with experience and the right mindset. Even if I had done more research or contacted people I knew, I wasn’t in the right mindset. I didn’t really think I could get the internship over hundreds, maybe even thousands, of other people. Our society is very action-oriented and results driven, which makes our mindset focused on what others are achieving in comparison to us. Like, if you’re not juggling two jobs, a full schedule of classes, extracurriculars, volunteering, a social life and a relationship, then what are you doing with your life?

The thing is, you can prepare yourself with experience and results all you want, but if you don’t believe you are just as qualified as the person standing next to you (unless you’re actually not, then you’ve got some more work to do), you’ll always downplay your achievements or not reach for opportunities. And that’s what I realized I had also been doing. I was downplaying things that did make me stand out. We all have things that make our personal story and experience unique, we just have to know how to tell that story and share those experiences by practicing giving ourselves credit. If you’re walking around wondering how the heck everybody else seems to be achieving “stuff” all the time, you’re not alone. You have what it takes to achieve your goals and you’re probably on the right track (or at least capable of getting on the right track). You just have to prepare for what you really want. And it takes more than just a great resume with experience to get it. You have to believe you’re good enough first.