This article is not a shot at the mentality of college or the university "idea" at all. Rather, it is my own personal issue with conforming or attempting to be a "typical college student".

Being on top as seniors of the high school felt great. A sense of entitlement came from this stature to embody the school but as a student. If accepted into college however, the senior is now the bottom of the barrel freshman in the new environment of the university. A sudden change occurs in a freshman's mind as he or she walks around campus. The thoughts and ideas of all the future experiences one may have whether it be partying all night or becoming the valedictorian are quite overwhelming. One small problem for me was becoming this college freshman. I could not firmly grasp the point, if there was one, of putting all of these free, wild, and young adults in one place. Every student has this concrete belief that this is the place where all the men and women gather to go crazy. By crazy, I mean a variety of ideas that the term "college" brings along with it. However, I will not go into them as they are mostly suggestive.

My freshman year was exactly what I had expected to be. I made friends, had fun, made stupid decisions, and learned very little about Philosophy but more about how to act and talk to numerous amounts of people. It was hard to cope with the idea that my parents sent me here for higher learning and I was instead trying to meet people and make acquaintances. I felt bad because I am grateful for the opportunity and I threw it back in their face with average grades. It is one of the many regrets I have because I feel guilty for sort of using their grace for my own selfish reasons. Sorry Mom and Dad.

Over the next couple years I had started to make up an in cohesive outline to what college is. It is as follows:

1. A place to gain connections
2. A melting pot of different ages/races/backgrounds/creeds/sexual preferences etc...
3. A place for experiences
4. A surreal environment in which sex is no more than a way to introduce drama
5. A place where the freshmen fifteen is a real thing
6. Where "broke college student" is an understatement
7. Ramen or oatmeal is breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack/brunch...
8. Coffee is a drug not a casual drink

All these ideas are my own opinion and are subject to change by persuasion or time.

Today, I stand as a senior and still look up to freshmen as they come in. Literally because I am short and some of them are giants, but also figuratively. I remember being that freshman where everything that was new and exciting would soon fall short of entertaining. I look at the freshmen spin around at the campus surrounding them awestruck full of life and wonder or better yet hope I was the same way.

However, I have learned over the time being in this chaotic environment that everyone is here together. On the road to becoming a doctor, a musician, a teacher, an artist, a screenwriter, an author, a computer technician we all have problems and issues that are somewhat similar. No one person believes the next is inferior or superior to anyone, at least a guy can hope.

In short, my problem with college is because I still do not yet understand it. It is not a negative connotation but a confusing one in which I in my four years here have yet to figure out. Maybe there is no concrete answer to why college is the way it is and the way in which people talk about college has a certain "kick" to it. I do know one thing however, and it is that I understand how much work a person can do in three hours before finals. If one can pass finals simply by studying the night before, I can tell you that the professor did not teach the class very well. Everyone who attended every class meeting has been cheated out of there education and played like fools. It is just another truth that needs to go on the above list and adds to the conclusion of why I do not understand this place.