When I say
I am a Pure Romance Consultant
People respond
Oh, you sell sex toys.
They spit the phrase like it's
a dirty word.
They treat me like
I said I sell drugs
Or my body
Or my soul.
They think that
Just because I sell sex toys
They can make crude remarks
About my work
About my clients
About my body
About me.
But when I say
I am a Pure Romance Consultant
I mean a lot more.
I mean
I am a Relationship Saver
What I have here in this bag
Yes, it can fix the problems you have in bed.
She says she hasn't had sex in two years
Because she isn't attracted to him anymore
She says she is afraid she doesn't love him
She doesn't know that the medications she takes for her anxiety,
The ones that allow her to leave the house each day,
Have stolen her desire
And dried her loins
Til they are barren as the Sahara.
I am a Problem Solver
Because I've Got A Product For That!
I am a body teacher.
The things I have been trained in
Yes I can help you.
She says she has never orgasmed.
She doesn't know how.
She wonders if she is broken.
She doesn't know how to please herself,
Let alone how to let a man please her.
I am an Educator.
Because I've Got A Product For That
And sweetheart, call me when it works
Because I'm gonna buy you a balloon.
I am a Cheerleader
because I won't judge you the way others will.
Yes, I think you are a good person.
She worries she isn't worth a man's touch
Because she has been touched so much
And she cringes away
Thinking words like "Whore" and "Slut"
But I am an encourager
And I've Got A Product for That.
Because she deserves to feel cherished.
So yes I sell sex toys
But I also sell more than that.
I sell confidence in a bottle.
I sell liquid libido.
I sell a happier sex life
I sell better self-esteem
I sell relaxation in a busy life
And excitement in a boring night
I can't sell happiness
But I can sell Pure Romance
And that is basically the same thing.
