Anyone who knows me knows that I love myself. I really do! Of course, I am human and I don't feel good about myself 100% of the time, but a good portion of the time I do. I pride myself on showing people that you can feel good about yourself no matter what clothes you wear, what kind of hair you have or what size you are. As a woman who is plus size, here's one thing I'm sick of hearing, "How do YOU have so much confidence?"
I appreciate the people who notice and comment on my confidence. I love that I'm able to project it so well. But when someone says "How do you have so much confidence?" It takes me back to a time when I didn't. That one simple question has the power to make me doubt myself, to bring me back to the darkest times in my life. When you ask me "how do you have so much confidence," I know that you're really wondering how someone who may look 'unhealthy' can be so okay with that lifestyle. When you ask me that, you're wondering why I don't try to loose weight. You're wondering why I'm happy.
I wasn't always like this, I've definitely had my fair share of struggles. I've struggled with my physical appearance, my ethnicity, my weight. I'm not sure when I realized that beauty has no definition. But I'm glad I did. I often find myself testing the limits of the many beauty standards that social media has engraved in our brains. This summer, I bought my first bikini, I was very hesitant to put it on and wear it around my much smaller friends and my family; however, when I first wore it to a pool party this summer, all of my friends to my surprise loved it! But of course, with the good comes the bad, some of friends made the dreaded statements, "WOW! Ky you have so much confidence!" or "You must be so comfortable with your body!" Not only do these comments make me feel badly about myself, but they imply that because my body is different or bigger that I have no right to feel good about myself.
Despite these not so great comments, I refuse to be someone who lets other people determine how I feel about myself. I refuse to ever feel like I am less than someone simply because I wear a bigger size pant than them. So if you're reading this, I want YOU to know, you are so much more than the number on the scale. You're allowed to love yourself no matter what. Beauty has no weight limit.
