Something that has always been a topic of discussion for many years is the idea of women choosing to not have children. Be it getting their tubes tied, asking their husbands to get a vasectomy, or simply choosing to not conceive. Some women feel indifferent, believing every women has the right to choose. Others are confused by the idea of not having children and often pull the lovely line: “You’ll change your mind.”
I happen to be one of the women who does not want to conceive a child.
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Now, to give a little insight, I don’t know whether or not I want to have children at the moment. I know for a fact I do not want to conceive a child and give birth. If I ever did come to a point in my life where I decided that I wanted a child and to start a (traditional) family, I would choose adoption. This is something I’ve known I wanted to do since I was a little girl. I knew I would prefer to adopt and I knew I didn’t want to put my body through all that stress. I have three younger brothers and have witnessed what my mother – and many other women – went through. I have a great amount of respect for any woman who chooses to do so – your body is amazing! However, it’s just not for me.
A lot of times I get comments from family members or even acquaintances about my choice.
“You’ll change your mind.”—
“Once you meet the right man you’ll want to have kids.”
“Don’t you want something that is a part of you?”
No. No to all of this. I will not change my mind.
If I do in fact change my mind, like I stated previously, I would adopt. An adopted child is still a part of you. With many stories of parents looking to adopt a young child, they want to better the child’s life and beyond that, they want to feel a bond. No different than meeting the love of your life, it's the one you want to spend eternity with. There is an undeniable connection, they become a part of you despite not coming from you.
For me personally, I would like to get my tubes tied. However, I have read other’s stories of their journey to get said procedure for personal reasons, and they are quite disheartening. Some young women, like myself, who have decided to go through the process have been denied care because the doctors are worried the women will change their minds. I completely understand being cautious because it does happen! Women change their minds often about whether or not they want to have kids, and they have every right to. However, when a woman searches for years to find a doctor who will assist her, it’s safe to assume she is not going to change her mind on this.
I have not yet started that long process due to many of these stories, however I am not letting them discourage me! My hope is that, within a few more years, I won’t be berated with questions about my choice and can comfortably and happily get the procedure done.
You do not need a child to fulfill your life. Having children just isn’t for everybody— and every woman should have her right to choose. After all, it is her body.
