Chicken Tender Thief At Anderson University | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Chicken Tender Thief At Anderson University

"But I didn't do it!"

72
Chicken Tender Thief At Anderson University
Wings To Go DC

It was March 9, 2017. It started out like any typical Thursday night. I got out of my long and grueling graphic design class and headed towards the dining commons. I got a take out box and went to the main line. I got my pasta, vegetables; you know, the boring stuff. But then I came to the chicken tenders. Now a D.C. worker is usually there to serve the chicken tenders to the students.

"Wait, what did you just say?!" you may be be asking. That's right. At Anderson University we are not allowed to serve ourselves chicken tenders.

No other food in the dining commons has to be served to us by an employee. Just the chicken tenders. This is because if they don't claim dictatorship over the chicken tenders, students will get more than two strips.

"Why can't you get more than two strips?" you may be asking. I have no clue! I mean, for the amount of money we give to the school, we should be able to get however many chicken tenders we want! You would think that they could just make more. I mean, it's not like we are a huge university. We only have around 3,000 students.

I can't imagine what the chicken tender limit would be if this occurred at Clemson! "Oh you can only have one fifth of this chicken strip." Like what the heck?! How is anybody, especially a guy, supposed to be full by eating two chicken tenders? Also, we are adults. We should be able to get our own food.

See the problem is that Thursday nights are practically the only night out of the whole week that the D.C has anything good to eat. I have a suggestion. The D.C. should have good food every night, that way people don't go crazy when they see the delicious chicken tenders.

Anyways, getting back to the story...I got to the platter of chicken tenders and nobody was there to serve them to me. So, I simply got two chicken tenders myself. I wasn't going to get more than two because I actually have some integrity.

So right as I started to close my box, I heard this voice from across the dining commons calling out "EH EH EH!!" It sounded like a mother scolding her 4-year-old for taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. I looked over and there was a D.C worker coming straight for me.

I freaked out because I didn't know what I did...or should I say what I DIDN'T do! So she came over and was like "Baby, you can only have two chicken tenders." I gave her a very confused look. I opened up my box and said, "But I only got two..." Then she patted me on the back and said, "Oh, baby, I am sorry."

Other students had witnessed this whole thing fold out. What they didn't know was that I was falsely accused. So they thought I just tried to steal chicken. The D.C worker then proceeded to say to another worker "You need to watch these (chicken tenders) because once they (students) start coming in...MMMMMM!)

I was going to go across the D.C and get ice cream, but I didn't want to show my face, as everybody had heard me get reprimanded. So instead, I got two breadsticks. That's right! Two!

There isn't a set rule that you are supposed to get one, but it is just expected. "Not today!" I said to myself. Boy, did I feel like a rebel. Getting two breadsticks. Wow!


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