Listen, I LOVE to read. A few favorites that come to mind were "The Light We Lost", "Cage of Stars", and "This Is How It Ends". However, the one that has most recently impacted me would be "The Chaos of Standing Still."
Something about this book hit me hard coming into this new school year. For me, this year was a completely fresh start. I changed why majors/minors, changed universities, and over the summer rediscovered my passions for the things that I do. I was in a season of change and ready for the next chapter, but also apprehensive of such a big change for someone who was known for "always having her life together."
I am a planner. I like to know all the information on everything I involve myself in, and I like stability and things that are known. Similar to Ryn, the main character in the novel, I dislike unanswered questions. I connected with her fear of the unknown and her tendency to stay in the place of familiar surroundings.
This book also addresses grief. I think that most people confuse what grief truly is and I believe that this novel explains it beautifully. One of Ryn's struggles through the novel is coping with the anniversary of her best friend's death. Grief is overwhelming and it's important to remember that grief is not a part of you. Grief may be a part of your story, but you are not defined by grief. Grief is something that has happened to you- you are not grief. A quote from the book explains grief beautifully, "grief isn't an active emotion. It's something that happens to you…you're still in the same place, but everything has been destroyed." The important thing with grief is that we cope with it, healthily. Coping is the way that we rebuild all the ways that we have been destroyed. We pick up all the pieces and build again. Maybe you cope with grief by imagining the person was still with you, like Ryn, or maybe you ask questions why, or maybe you've come to peace with the tragedy that's happened. Wherever you may be, I hope you find the strength and means to rise again. At the end of the novel, we see Ryn pick up her pieces, let go of the ones weighing her down, and move forward from the grief that's consumed her. I believe anyone who reads this book can be inspired to have the same courage and better appreciate the people who helped them find it.
My main takeaway from this book for me was the phrase "may you always live forward." I love this unique take on "keep moving forward" and found that it really reflected where I was at that moment. I needed this push to remember that I couldn't go into this year wondering if I was making the right decision, getting stuck on my previous decisions, or holding too hard onto people or things that keep me in a past mindset. One of my biggest focuses for the year is being present, whether that's with people, experiences, or whatever. I believe that the phrase "may you live forward" promotes being present, living with intention, and doing the things your future self needs.
