Being in a healthy, stable relationship at the ages of 18-22 tends to be extremely challenging due to the amount of mental growth one goes through during those tedious, demanding, thrilling years of their life. Healthy college relationships are possible, but in no way are they easy. There is so much change that happens during the four years of college that either makes or breaks relationships. Temptations are everywhere while you literally figure out how the rest of your life is going to pan out in a meager four years. A lot can change in this time period. There are so many benefits of having someone there for you during these life-changing years, but there are also so many challenges along the way that could detour most from even attempting to have a stable relationship.
Relationships have always been a difficult concept for me to grasp. I have never been in a stable relationship, nor have I consistently been in one for more than a couple months. With that being said, I have been in love, and it is so challenging to love and be with someone and still discover who you are and who you are meant to be during these years. I cannot stress enough how important these years are to the development of your future.
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Being in a relationship in college not only means you are changing and understanding yourself, but you're also responsible for your significant other’s changes as well. I am not writing this article from personal experience as to why it’s difficult to be in a relationship during college, but from being a bystander. Having my best friend, roommate, and sorority sisters all be in relationships (including long distance), exemplifies and proves to me the dedication and love that is needed for those relationships to stay strong. It gives another outlook on what bystanders, such as myself, see when they have to go spend the night with their best friend, on a Friday night, because of a fight they just had with their long distance boyfriend.
Granted, there are some relationships that defy all of the difficulties and remain strong throughout the ups and downs and I envy those relationships. Distance is hard, especially with someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Experience is entirely different for someone in a relationship versus a single college student. There are so many temptations and distractions in college that could really test the limits of a relationship. There are hundreds to thousands of people that you have never met and it really makes you wonder if the one you’re with is the one you're meant to be with. I have yet to find the lucky stranger that gets to call me the “one,” but I still have two more years here so anything could happen. Right? In a society where “hooking up” and “one night stands” are more prevalent than an actual serious relationship tends to stray most people away from them in the first place. These years are the awkward stage where we want something more serious than high school relationships, yet aren’t really ready for marriage because we have so much of our life that needs to get figured out beforehand. It’s all incredibly challenging and something that I personally never really want to experience.
Dating in college is hard, but not impossible. I envy those that can handle the stress that a college student endures and still have enough vitality and emotional strength to love someone unconditionally. If there is any advice I could give to those in relationships during college, (although most of you may think I have no idea what I’m talking about) it would be to not lose sight of yourself and who you want to be. A relationship should be supportive and should develop with the two participants. Don’t dwell on meager arguments and let them ruin countless nights that you could be having fun. Don’t lose yourself in a relationship. And most importantly, don’t pick a boy over homework!
