The buddy system is something you made an overly dramatic big deal about not wanting to partake in back in the 6th grade when you thought you were the shit. Although it may not seem applicable once you've stopped attending sleep away camp and taking care of that middle-of-the-night pee no longer requires someone watching your back as you make the trek to the bathroom from your cabin conveniently located in the middle of the woods, the buddy system is, in fact, a lesson that can benefit us no matter our age. The following are just a few of the ways in which the buddy system has proved itself to be invaluable to life even when you think you've outgrown it.
1. Public bathrooms
Just because you're no longer 8 does not make public restrooms any less sketchier, people. I'm talking about the park/playground kind, where it wouldn't be too crazy to see a homeless guy mending his pants in the stall. Bringing someone along with you to scope the place out and guard the door that probably doesn't lock isn't a precaution, it's just common sense.
2. The gym
Large complexes filled with grunting weightlifters, old men whose treadmills are set at a pace significantly higher than yours, and complicated machines with multiple pulley systems that are somehow supposed to make bicep curls easier can be terrifying places. One easy way to lessen the fear factor? Bring a friend! Speaking from personal experience, two people looking confused as they try to operate leg machines can laugh it off much easier than one person craning their head awkwardly to see how the guy next to them is using the damn thing. The motivation and encouragement that comes with your buddy are invaluable as you sweat uncontrollably, and afterwards, you have someone to high five cockily as you walk out, feeling like a macho beast.
3. Being chased by something
Just like the saying goes, you don't need to be a fast runner when being chased by a bear- just faster than the person you're with. This logic holds sound in all other similar life-and-death escape scenarios, including but not limited to: lions, tigers, and other large carnivorous cats; a guy with an axe/knife/candlestick or other murder-facilitating tool; very insistent salespeople; the police; a herd of stampeding wildebeests; Black Friday mobs; your dark, secret-filled past; and many, many more.
4. Going to a playground
A grown person playing around on the monkey bars is weird, no two ways about it. But two grown people on monkey bars is justifiable: you were nostalgic for your childhood, you wanted to settle a bet on who could swing the fastest, you're doing an obstacle course race, etc.
5. When you b**ch somebody out
After you stick it to someone, you're going to want at least one person to 'ooh snap' it and stick out their tongue at the offender after you've said your last word and turned to walk away with some really sassy hip-swaying. If you're all by yourself, then who will spread the news of your badassery? That's right. No one. It will be lost to the indifference of history. Don't let that happen: always travel with a posse, even if it is just a one-man thing.
6. Hitting on someone
Pick-up lesson 101: always bring a wingman/ wingwoman. They serve a variety of purposes: making you look better, introducing you if your buddy and your chosen one are already friends, and buying you a drink when you and your advances get spurned.
7. Climbing a tall tree
Much less awkward to have your buddy call 911 when you crash to the ground covered in leaves than having to call out until a stranger comes to your rescue.
8. Going to the bathroom at a party
Never trust that a closed door will stop an intoxicated person from bursting in while you're on the loo. You're going to want to put some muscle behind that while you break the seal.
Any of these things could happen to you, a family member, or a neighbor. Many happen every day and go quietly unnoticed. So, the moral of the story is: don't forget your buddy!
