Us girls seem to let guys get into our heads. They say we aren’t pretty and we assume they’re correct. We listen to them because we want and think we need their opinions about us. We think we need their approval.

A friend of mine had been talking to a guy she met online. Her pictures on the dating site were from six months ago. Her Facebook had more recent pictures. She had only gained 15 pounds between her Facebook photos and her dating site pictures. When she added him on Facebook, she received this message, “Idk how to say it without being a total f**king a**hole.

I could be totally wrong (I do need a new prescription for my glasses lol) but you look a little heavier in your newer pictures. Don’t hate me, I could be totally wrong. It could just be the angles.” ... I was taught as a child to NEVER mention or ask a woman’s age or weight. I thought men would have been taught the same thing. What guy in their right mind would mention a woman looking heavier in her new pictures??

In fifth grade, I had a crush on my best friend. When a friend of mine found out I liked him, she told him. He came back to me and said he would never date me unless I weighed over 100 pounds. I was underweight for the longest time even though I ate a lot. I didn’t weigh over 100 pounds until eighth grade. But, boy did I try to gain that weight. That statement from him started my low self-esteem issues.

My junior year of college I met a guy on the campus bus. We went on one date and then I didn’t hear from him until two weeks later. He said we wouldn’t have a second date because I wasn’t “smart enough” for him. He was going into engineering and I was going into criminal justice and psychology. I guess those aren’t smart majors.

Boys,

You have no right to tell any female that she isn’t pretty enough, smart enough, or skinny enough/fat enough for you. Females have their own self-esteem issues that stem from looking at our friends and looking through magazines; we don’t need your help to lower it.

On a site called Girls ask Guys, A girl asked “My guy friend told me that our mutual girl friend is much too good looking for him, so he told her she wasn't good looking in the hopes that it'll lower her self-esteem so that when he shows interest she'll be more likely to go out with him because she thinks she's not pretty. According to him, a lot of guys do this. Is this true? And if so, don't you think that's a really cruel way to get a girl?”

Here are some of the guys’ responses:

“The theory behind using backhanded insults or even insults in general to a girl is that if she is feeling low about herself, she is more likely to settle for something. It's a tactic that does work and recommend by players. This tactic also comes from the theory that jerks get all the girls. In some aspects, this is true. Nice guys get put into the friend zone.”

“Those guys are usually after sex, so if your friend is looking to date her, then he's probably already messed up. Hopefully, she has the sense to know that a guy who starts off by insulting her probably isn't the best guy to date.”

How messed up is it that guys have a plan to get pretty girls to date them? Or how messed up that it is a norm for guys to use this theory on girls? Why is this a thing?