Thank you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you so much for leaving. At the time I was distraught. I felt like you were going back on every promise you had ever made. I lost by best friend, my partner in crime, and the person I trusted more than anyone. It has been almost two years since that day, and I can honestly say I am stronger now than ever before. Losing someone you found so much of yourself in and depended on teaches you about who you are and what is important to you as an individual. These are the things I learned about myself and about life, without you.
I don't need you to be happy.
Don't get me wrong I definitely need my friends and they bring me so much joy, but I do not need a boyfriend to be happy. The first few months after you left we're rough, because I didn't know who to call when I had a bad day or when something funny happened. After many months of trying, I have learned how to connect with people on a personal level which has brought me so many friendships that I don't think I would have made if we were still together.
Comfort leads to complacency.
I truly believe things ended like they did because we both stopped trying. We had been together for so long that it just became second nature. We were thoughtlessly going through the motions. I have learned to be more intentional with my interactions with friends, family, and even strangers, which has given me so many opportunities to learn from people that I probably wouldn't have otherwise.
Confidence is SO important.
As a 15-17 year old girl I was so insecure. It could be about my hair, my pant size, my accent, or pretty much anything you can think of. I like to think that it was unintentional, but you managed to bring up my insecurities at your convenience. I have learned to be confident in my appearance, my decisions, and myself in general.
Forgiving others for what they did helps you more than it helps them.
Forgiving you was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I chose to forgive you for my own well being. Carrying around all of that anger and negativity takes a toll on a person. I learned that people don't always deserve or even want forgiveness, but in order to grow you have to forgive.
I don't have to have it all figured out.
We had plans for our futures and they included each other, then all of a sudden they didn't anymore. My college plans, my goals, and what I thought my purpose was, was pulled right out from under me. For the first time in years I had no clue what I wanted to do, which was so stressful for me. I know now that it's okay to not have plans. I have learned to be flexible and more open to any opportunities that may come my way.
So, thank you, again. I wouldn't be who I am today if you were still in my life. I hope you're doing okay and that you're happy wherever you're at in life. I wish you nothing but the best.
