First of all, I don't really know why I feel and care for you as much as I do. I have never actually met you but you are constantly on my mind and I think I have already planned out our future together. Weird? I know. And it's not like we are texting each other every waking moment, but every conversation and word said is authentic and real. How is it that you have found your way into my heart and latched on with no hopes of letting go?
It obviously wasn't love at first sight but more like love at first type. I didn't need to see your facial expression to know exactly how you were feeling because everything was said in those words on the screen. Is it sad that this is the first genuine and whole hearted conversation I have ever had, even in person? And you may not even know this because I am too afraid to tell you because what if we never actually meet? Or what if I've thought up this whole scenario in my head and if you found out it would be a disater because you have no idea what I am talking about.
Is this all working out just because we have never met each other? But that doesn't stop me from thinking about what it would be like to have the conversations that we do have in person. There is obviously all these what if's. But that is all that I have to cling onto. At this point, everything is a little fictitious and that is a hard pill to swallow. I would like to think that if we met that sparks would fly and we would be together forever because that is what everything feels like. I don't think I have ever truly opened up to someone like this, and it's absolutely terrifying to me.
I guess I just want to let you know that you have set the bar high for all the future guys in my life. You may not have been there presently in my life but you have still made a major impact that will stay with my for the rest of my life. You have showed me what it should feel like to have someone that isn't constantly trying to get in my pants but into my heart. You have taught me to open myself up again and be 100 percent honest with another person. And by doing this you can get closer than ever to another human being. Again, a terrifing thought to put everything out in the open like that and be so incredibly vulnerable.
This boy, whether he knows it or not has my heart doing things that are foreign to me. My heart skips a beat when your name shows up on my screen and my smile has never been brighter either. I don't know whether I am cursed or blessed that you came into my life. Because on one hand, you have made my learn to trust the idea of love again but on the other, I will probably never meet you. I just hope one day I can meet someone similar to you and be as happy as you make me feel now.
