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To The Boy That I First Loved

Because letting go was the best thing to happen to us.

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To The Boy That I First Loved
Morgan Snead

Hey. It's been a while.

It's been a while since I've been phased by the feelings that I once had for you. It's been a while since I've had to even think about you. It's been a while since I was known as your girlfriend. It's been a while since I've accepted the fact that a boy that was in my life for four years went from talking every day to not knowing each other at all.

My high school sweetheart; the one that I thought was my forever. Not many people realize that even after we broke up, we tried to make it work off and on for so long. I honestly thought that I would end up with my high school sweetheart like so many other people that I knew did.

College did a really good job at not letting that happen, but I'm so thankful for it. We changed when we moved to college. I met boys that proved to me they were willing to treat me better than you ever did and that helped me move on. I'm so thankful for the four years, though.

Thank you for loving me when I didn't know how to love myself. High school was so tough for me and you helped me through all of that. I would never regret the relationship that we had.

Thank you for hurting me. I became confident, happy, content, strong, and more adventurous because you hurt me. I learned to let things go and move on. I learned to not care what others thought. I learned to love my bodily entirely for every flaw that it had. I learned to not let any boy have my heart. I put walls up and began to protect myself more. This all has played a role in the strong, empowered, independent woman that I am today.

Thank you for moving on and proving that we can love other people. We went through our moments of thinking that we could never love anyone else because our love hurt us so much in the end. You refused to think that you would love someone else and I am so happy that you decided to again.

Thank you for teaching me that the way I loved you isn't the way I will love the next man. Every man is so different. I've learned they won't all be the same. I've learned to trust actions and not the words that come out of their mouths.

Thank you for proving to me that my high school love wasn't really LOVE. It was this fascination with a boy that treated me okay and we spent a lot of time together. Thankfully we had a great friendship and that is what our relationship stood on, but now that I look back on it I know it wasn't really love.

You deserve the world. We've grown up, grown apart, and moved on, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm chasing after my dreams and I hope you are too. I wish you all the best. To the Boy that I first loved, whom I never truly loved, thank you for teaching me to move on, be independent and that I have the ability to love so much more the second time around.

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