Growing up every girl is told that boys are dumb and it’s not worth dating them. Even though we are told this time and time again, we still date boys, get hurt, and then swear we’ll never date again. So if nine times out of ten we’ll probably get hurt, why do we mess with guys? If they’re dumb and not worth the time, why do we accept when asked out on a date?

We’re all searching for the guy who’s the one time out of ten, the one for you, the one who will change your life for the better. Well as painful as this is to say, but even he might not stick around. You might connect with him in ways you never thought possible, or love him more than anything else on this earth, but even that isn’t enough to stop someone from walking out of your life.

He had blue eyes, dark hair and freckles. He was there at some of the lowest points in my life thus far and never could I imagine my life without him after I got to know him. He meant more to me than words to describe and, I thought, I meant the same to him. Though we had struggles I thought that since I loved him, our love would get us through anything, but this was not the case. The boy who had become my life decided to leave, the reasons still to this day not exactly known to me. I gave him all of me, but I guess that was not enough for him to make him stay. The truth is, you have to let what’s going to happen, happen.

Now looking back on it, it’s probably better off this way. He’s still in high school and I now live two hours away in college. We were looking a crossroads in both of our lives and he just decided to take the opposite path of mine. It’s taken me a while to accept the fact that it is better, but that doesn’t mean I’m weak to think of it that way. It doesn’t make me miss him any less. Some nights I wake up from a bad dream wanting nothing more than his arms to comfort me, or I wish to tell him about my day. I still miss him and I still love him, but I am happy he left.

Since his departure, I have discovered a new side of me. I am stronger than I once believed, and I now feel like myself. There’s no more worrying if he’ll be okay with what I’m doing, or if he got his homework done. There’s no more stressing out about how I am going to get home to see him, or not being there to help him every waking moment. To put it simply, the stress of him is gone. Did he leave a hole in my heart? Yes, but the hole shows me the beautiful parts of me. The night he left I thought there was no way I could live without him, but here I am still standing. Here I am finding myself without him by my side.

So, thank you for being a part of my life and changing me, but also thank you for leaving, it’s made my life better than I could imagine