Cultural appropriation has to be one of the stickiest subjects of the past three years. From the trend of wearing traditional Native headdresses at Coachella to the question of whether Beyoncé and Coldplay appropriated Indian culture in their music video for “Hymn for the Weekend,” cultural appropriation has been a heavily debated topic. The question is: where do we draw the line between cultural exchange and cultural appropriation?

According to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s article for Time Magazine, “whether it’s a hairstyle or jazz music, there’s a difference between honoring a culture and stealing from it.” (Side note: I had no idea the iconic basketball superstar is a columnist for Time? How cute is that? Also, I highly suggest reading the article, because he uses some hilarious dad-joke type puns.) Yes, it is inevitable that cultures will exchange and appreciate each other in today’s world, but there is a huge difference between appropriating and appreciating.

It’s extremely difficult to break down a true definition of cultural appropriation. In the book “Borrowed Power: Essays on Cultural Appropriation,” the simple definition would be the taking of intellectual property, cultural expressions, or history from a culture that is not one’s own. To me, the topic is much more complex than that. So, speaking as a young black woman who was never set foot outside of America (unfortunately), I will attempt to share my experience with cultural appropriation through my own eyes.

I like to call the 2016 incarnation of cultural appropriation “The Boxer Braid Epidemic,” due to the fact that the Kardashians have tried to turn a staple in the black community into a trend. For those of you who don’t know, cornrows are not new, and they are not called boxer braids. I’m going to use this as an example of the difference between appropriation and appreciation. As a black woman who is very proud of my culture, I have no problem with white women wearing cornrows in their hair. This isn’t the issue, just like an Italian American would have no issue with my obsession with bruschetta. However, I do have a problem with people who are not black taking this very traditional hairstyle and marketing it as something new and fresh, calling it a trend and slapping a new name on it. That is appropriation, not appreciation. If one day I posted a picture of bruschetta with the caption, “Wow, look at this delicious piece of bread with cheese, basil, and tomatoes on it. I just discovered it and it’s called sassy toast,” then people would look at me sideways. So why do we do that with other people’s cultures?

Secondly, I believe that my biggest problem with appropriating from the black community is the hypocrisy behind it. Going to a predominantly white college, I see it first hand. Everyone wants to listen to rap music, use black colloquialisms, have thick lips and big butts and dark skin. Name one frat party you’ve been to where the majority of the music played was by a white artist. Black culture is almost always viewed as trendy, and that’s just a fact. Black and white kids alike idolize hip-hop culture. But the same white kids who know all the lyrics to every Future song and own the newest pair of Yeezys don’t necessarily advocate for the community they are so infatuated with. No, this is not true for every white person, but for a lot it is true. Do not take and enjoy my culture without being an ally for my race. My favorite quote that my dad always told to me is, “Everyone wants to be black until it’s time to be black.”

There are deeper examples that are often more offensive, like people who wear Native headdresses or get tattoos of sacred symbols without knowing the rich history behind them. We as a community need to learn how to appreciate the differences in our cultures with respect, because the lack of respect is the biggest problem with appropriation. Cultural exchange is inevitable in the world we live in, and I have no problem with that, but it’s time for my generation to take a long look in the mirror and realize things have to change.