Most of my friends go to a traditional college and live the traditional college life. A part of that life is the long awaited Spring Break that every student looks forward to every year. At AMDA, a performance conservatory, we don’t have a Spring Break. Frankly, we don’t have the time. Being in an intensive environment, we have new material being thrown at us every day and we’re expected to pick it up and learn it as quickly as possible. Even during our holiday break, we were expected to rehearse and have things performance ready by the time we returned. That being said, it’s unlikely we would get a week off in the middle of a semester and being in a conservatory with little breaks already has its struggles.

What really sucks is seeing your friends and family out having a fun relaxing week off while you’re still in school stressed about your next deadline and the continuous deadlines that go until June without a break in sight. I’ve seen friends have bonfires on Facebook, go on road trips on Snapchat, beach parties on Instagram. My family getting together for parties and pub crawls. Meanwhile I stay in my dorm going over and learning songs and lines for my classes.

The worst struggle of not having a spring break is the severe case of FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. Seeing my friends and family having a good time and relaxing while I’m not relaxing is one thing, but the fact that they’re out having a good time and relaxing without me is even worse! It’s feeling as if they’ve forgotten about me and that no one misses me when they’re exploring and enjoying themselves.

Maybe it’s irrational and maybe it’s totally ridiculous, but it doesn’t make me feel any better! However, the reason I don’t have a spring break is because I’m in this intensive program to pursue my dreams and become the actor I’ve wanted to be since I was very young. And if that means I don’t have a week off to have bonfires or road trips, then so be it. I’m perfectly content with that.