As summer draws to a close and a new semester of school creeps around the corner, it's time to look back at all the fun we had over the last few months. It's also time to recall the abundance of lies you told yourself and everyone you knew, because, let's face it, summer isn't a time for keeping promises.
“Let's hang out!”
I guarantee that you two never hung out. At this point, it's just a social pleasantry like “Nice to see you” (which is usually also a lie) that you spew when you run into someone you know who you probably should spend time with and for whatever reason know you never will. You both know it doesn't mean anything, but it's good to be polite anyways.
“I can't, I'm busy.”
No, you're not busy, you're in the middle of a netflix binge session and this wine/beer won't drink itself you lazy bastard. All those plans to go out will have to wait for another time, but by then you'll be starting a new series and the cycle will repeat itself.
“Just one more episode.”
It's exactly what you said 8 episodes ago. Have you no self control?!
“I should go outside today!”
Yeah, you should, but did you? Or did you hide away inside, shirking from all sources of light while you burrowed deeper into your nest of blankets, pillows, and chip bags?
“This summer is just flying by!”
Actually, this summer has been crawling like a dying tortoise. Why were you looking forward to summer in the first place? It's either filled with work or endless boredom, and your days blur together into one long season of banality and heat stroke.
“I should go to bed early tonight!”
It's 3 am and you're googling the world's rarest lobster or lost in the weird sections of youtube where its just videos of Mexicans counting their money. Oh, yeah, something about trying to get some sleep... Maybe tomorrow night.
“I want to do this/that but I'm trying to save money.”
Yeah, money for beer and munchies. What's sacrificing a weekend of camping fun or a night at the movies to feed your inner sloth and glutton.
“I'm just tired.”
Fun fact: 9/10 times 'tired' really just means 'hungover' but only 3/10 bosses can see through that excuse. Just keep sipping your water and popping advil, and keep your head down until the end of the day.
“Just one more drink.”
It's exactly what you said 8 shots ago. Really? Again with the self control?
“I'm going to make this summer memorable and really special.”
Maybe you tried, you really tried, but the older you get the shittier summer becomes. You trade in fun family trips for working and paying bills. Goodbye days of fancy free fun and frolicking, hello responsibilities and ignoring responsibilities for alcohol and tv. So what was the highlight of your summer? When you made human contact for the first time in weeks? Or when you went to the grocery store and bought yourself a middle shelf bottle of wine? Maybe when you downed an entire box of Krispy Kreme in 2 minutes?
