When we graduated high school, the expectations surrounding our future were all over the place. College, military, work, trade school. The end game was clear though; "Make something of yourself."
We went from having to ask to go to the bathroom, to being asked to make life-changing decisions about our futures. "You're an adult now. Time to fly little caterpillar!" If you're like me, you were still trying to sprout wings for the entire free fall out of the tree. Whether I did it or not depends on your definition, I guess. There's no one way to define success. I've also learned there's no timeline.
When I graduate this Spring, I will have been in college for 11 years. Eleven. Years. Some of that time I was struggling with immaturity, and making poor choices of the relationship-variety. I grew up. It happens to all of us eventually. I started working full time 10 years ago, and living on my own. I took one or two classes at a time, without any sure direction of what I wanted to do with my life. I'm grateful that I found the career of my dreams and then found a school with that major. I was very, very lucky.
I like to say "The Universe loves me." It covers all my beliefs, without all the labels. I say it when I get a great parking spot, or when I am sick on a day that class was canceled. I say it when I'm granted a day off from work the day before a big exam. I still work full time, and I've been in school full time for a year and a half now. I'm busy. Like bone-tired, every day, and happy about it- busy. I recently submitted an internship application for after graduation, and it automatically added up all my hours of work, volunteering and other extracurriculars. All I will say is that I sincerely hope to see that number again someday, in my bank account.
I realized recently that even though I've worked on myself through personal development, leaving toxic relationships, getting healthy, and working toward my degree, I still lie to myself all the time. Like every day. I hear other people do it, too. It's the same lie over and over again. How can I come so far and still lie to myself? How can you? We lie when we look at our planners, our schedules, our lives. We lie to ourselves every day about little stuff, big stuff, scary stuff.
We say, "I don't know if I can do it."
It's a lie.
You can do it.
Whether it's leaving a toxic relationship, getting your degree, getting healthy, getting through your parents' divorce, moving cross-country for a great opportunity, whatever. You can do it. Stop lying to yourself. You can do it.
The Universe loves you, and its ready to watch you spread your wings.
