It's consuming, overwhelming, annoying and dangerous. Its a monster that sneaks up on you on a daily basis without warning. The big green monster is called envy, and its middle name is jealousy. Social media causes the big green monster to come alive all too well. People post pictures of their new clothes, new car, new phone, new engagement, new baby, and new house. We post the things we have because we are excited and are proud of these things. We also desire the approval of others and acceptance. We want the whole world to know that we have a precious new puppy and the rest of you don't. However, all of these posts can cause a huge problem with jealousy. I know that when I want something (like a kitten), it seems like every other person on social media has a kitten and I am the only girl on the planet without it. Is this true? Of course not, but it seems that way. The more people post adorable pictures of kittens the stronger my want becomes of this and out comes the big green monster.

Summertime is full blown wedding season. Couples are getting engaged left and right and wedding pictures are uploaded every hour on the hour. Even TLC knows it, Say yes to the dress has a marathon every other day it seems. Does wedding season ever end?! (Love you Randy!) Wedding season has made the big green monster attack me personally. I have wanted to get married and have a family ever since I was a little girl. Babies still freak me out but none the less I have always wanted the fairy tale dream of getting proposed to and marrying the guy of my dreams. Cinderella probably played a huge role in this dream of mine, but it is a good dream to have.

Constantly seeing engagement pictures and wedding pictures makes me extremely jealous because I want that in my life and the more pictures I see on Instagram or Facebook the stronger my green monster grows. God revealed to me this monster in my life and maybe you could be going through this too. The idea of marriage to me was such a strong desire I was making it my obsession. Wedding shows, wedding books, wedding Pinterest boards and the list continues.

Seeing couples get engaged made me angry because it wasn't me and I cannot wait for it to be me. Jealousy and envy can be consuming and become your main focus in life.

It wasn't until I was reading the book "The Fifth Gospel" by Bobby Conway that I realized I needed to get rid of my monster. The point that got me was, "don't burn for desire for what other people have." I was putting the idea of marriage first instead of putting God first and what he had planned and in store for me.

The desire of what other people had became strong and too important. I was comparing my life to others instead of being thankful for what I have in my life right now. What is consuming you? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you desire what other people have instead of being thankful for what you have? Does jealousy and envy control your daily thoughts?

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30 NIV

"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. " James 3:14-16 ESV

Its normal to be jealous of other people or envious of what others have. Someone will always have something bigger and better than you do. But there is a flip side, someone always has less than you too. Reading through Proverbs and James I realized that jealousy is exhausting. Thankfulness is more rewarding than jealousy. How did I get rid of my obsession with weddings? By praying to God to take that away from me and to be thankful for what I have now. Lord willing if marriage is in my future, praise God. If marriage is not in my future, praise God, too. Gods path for my life is greater than what I think my path should be. I pray to whoever reads this blog if jealousy or envy is a problem for you or comparing yourself to others that you turn to God and be thankful for what he has given you in this life. We may not own a fancy car or have a private jet, but we do have a God who loves us and has a pathway for our life and gives us exactly what we need at the right time. Praise God he is the one in control my life instead of me, because I probably would have turned green by now and its not my best color. Approval and acceptance of others should not be our number one priority, God should be our number one priority and after Him everything else follows.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Mathew 6:33 ESV