In my previous article about Tinder, I stated that with this popular app I learned to expect the unexpected. Although I highlighted the downsides to Tinder in that article, I'm here to bring a new perspective now that slightly more time has passed.

Tinder is not all about the negatives. Yes, there are fuckboys, guys who will make uncomfortable sexual remarks, and plenty of guys who will never message you despite matching with you for one reason or another. At some point, there will be guys who will unmatch you or you will unmatch them. Every girl on Tinder knows this. However, when was the last time you heard someone talk about the good things about Tinder? There are actually at least a few success stories, with girls getting into relationships with guys they've matched with, and even girls who've married a Tinder match. We shouldn't always expect the worst.

For example, the very day my previous Tinder article was published, I started chatting with two different guys. With guy #1 it seemed like things were going well. We talked about our dogs, movies, music-- the usual. And I thought maybe this will go somewhere, but with Tinder you can never be 100 percent sure where things are going to go. He mentioned at one point that he has a bad reply rate and I was surprised. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary but it was precisely what I couldn't see. After a long chat, we started planning to meet up and I asked him directly if it meant he was interested in going on a date with me and he said “Certainly.” After asking for my number, we texted for a little bit until he asked me for my height. Now, this caught me off guard because usually girls ask guys for their height. It's so common that guys started putting their height in their bios. And it's precisely why what happened next could've been avoided. He asked me for my height and I told him, "you first." He said,

"I'm 5’4 and now this is the part where you tell me you're 6 feet tall right.”

And I was truly taken aback. I told him I'm 5’7, but maybe I was in the wrong when I said "you're really 5’4?" I thought maybe he was messing with me. I thought maybe he's lying; how could I have been sure? And he clearly grew upset. It wasn't the first time he was rejected on Tinder because of his height. And I surely wasn't the last. As a girl of medium height, I've rarely met guys who were a few inches shorter than me, especially in college where majority of guys are either exactly my height, or 6 feet and over. So yes I couldn't believe he was 5’4 and he was pissed at my reaction. I apologized but I wasn't interested in dating a guy who was shorter than me. And that's honest. He felt offended and upset, and within a few minutes he unmatched me from Tinder.

I felt very conflicted by this. It's of course not the first time I've rejected a guy because of his height, but I felt bad. He really had hope and I destroyed that. And I dearly hope that he finds the beautiful short girl of his dreams.

Next, is guy #2 with whom things were drastically better. He's also more attractive. Bonus. A 23-year-old Russian American, who caught my attention with his cute self and an awesome dog beside him in his main photo. We connected over dogs and our passions, his for music and mine for writing. I told him that I hoped we could continue our conversation the next day. And we did. I messaged him and almost immediately after he gave me his number much to my surprise. So we texted after, and he asked about my day, we talked about college, and then we started talking about NYC. With that, we started discussing how we could meet up, especially with our busy schedules. I suddenly asked him about his height and I told him I needed to avoid déjà vu. He's a wonderful 5’10 and we flirted a little here and there after. But we came to an agreement that our meet up would have to be put on hold. I hold my academics as a top priority and although I really wanted to hang out with him, I couldn't let it get in the way of my midterms. So we ended our conversation with his last message being:

“Let’s stay in touch.”

We haven't spoken since. I have been busy since then, with midterm exams and papers. A little over 2 weeks have passed, but I truly don't know if I'm still interested in meeting him. Mainly, because I think I've met someone better. Which brings me to guy #3.

But, before I get to him--there is something worth mentioning. Since I joined Tinder I've gotten a little over 10 super likes, and considering I haven't super liked any guys, it's shocking to me to get that many in a short span of time. Over the weekend, I was super liked by someone I knew. I couldn't believe my eyes. He seemed familiar but he looked slightly different. Taking another look at his main photo and name I recognized him. He was a guy from a past I had repressed, a time I don't enjoy looking back on.

Here's the background story. He was one of my best friends in middle school; we talked for hours nearly every day, sharing personal thoughts, smiling, laughing. We also really liked each other, but I wasn't physically attracted to him. He was also a lot shorter than me. This is where my height issue began. I told him it wasn't going to work, and sure he knew it in the back of his mind, but that didn't stop him from developing strong feelings for me. However, whenever we were together at school, we were teased and mocked and we both hated it. They would call me his girlfriend and would bully us for our differences, and as a young girl in middle school I couldn't stand it. It hurt my feelings and I told him he had to accept it wouldn't work. That he couldn't love me; he couldn't be with me the way he wanted to. And it was awful. We really cared about each other. But after avoiding him for a while, we were finishing middle school and he told me his family was moving. Before we started high school, I ended my friendship with him. He was devastated. He would message me constantly, and then on every holiday and on my birthday, until it hurt me so much seeing his messages that I blocked him, going into my second year of high school. I never saw or spoke to him again. It's been a long time since I told anyone about that part of my life and now here it is forever on the internet. (Please be considerate).

And then suddenly, there he was on my Tinder. Older with some facial hair, I almost didn't recognize him. Reading his bio, I rolled my eyes at typical Tinder sayings and I thought 'wow how did we both end up on Tinder and what are the odds he came across my tinder?' He had super liked me, clearly recognizing me. But if I had swiped right, who knows what would've happened next? Would he have messaged me? What would he have said? I'll never know, and maybe it was nerves and fear. But I didn't want him to think that if I swiped right that it meant I wanted to date him or that I was interested in him. Because I wasn't. I didn't want to message him. I thought it would be too uncomfortable. And now his profile has disappeared into the abyss of unmatched guys, in the same boat as the other guys who super liked me that I swiped left on.

But with that came something brighter and better. A guy who feels too good to be true. I don't want to jinx it, but I really like him. He's attractive and has one photo with a cute smile. He admitted in his bio that he’s a hopeless romantic and I thought 'yes, finally a guy who’s interested in finding something more serious.' His first two messages, responding to my first message, immediately caught my attention.

1) “It's a tough world we live in dating wise.”
2) “And thank you, I think you're insanely cute.”

We were definitely off to a great start. He's half Russian like me and he even attempted to send me messages in Russian which was really cute. He's an entrepreneur who’s my age, which was very interesting to me. And I thought 'wow I really want to learn his story, how he got his start, but it would be best not to do that through Tinder.' I then made the bold move of asking him out, after only a few messages shared. And it was a relief that he wasn't too eager to meet me, as some guys are, which I've experienced with a few previous matches. It doesn't come across well. He said “haha we’ll see” with a little Russian thrown in, and I took that as ‘okay, good, we’ll get to know each other more first.’ And I am truly shocked that we messaged back and forth ALL DAY. We learned a lot about each other, and now not only does he have me added on Instagram, he also has read my previous Tinder article, and he’ll probably read this one too. He has sent me many kind, sweet and funny responses. And I smiled widely, and blushed, and laughed numerous times.

I even actually admitted to him that it was the longest and best conversation I've had since I joined Tinder. No pressure there. He also made a personal remark about me after scrolling through my Instagram, a remark I never thought I would hear from a guy on Tinder. He said,

“You seem to really want a relationship, not in a desperate or bad way, but I sense you really just want someone to commit to and love as hard as you can.”

And I kid you not, my mouth dropped and my heart skipped a beat. How could someone possibly get that from my Instagram-- I have no fucking clue. But his statement was right on the dot. And with that, I felt there could really be an emotional connection there. With our conversation coming to a close after discussing Tinder tactics (what an interesting turn that took), I almost felt reluctant to say goodnight. He's the kind of guy I just want to keep talking to. And I really hope that it leads to something real. I truly don't want to jinx it, because it feels too good to be true. But we’ll see where it goes.

Tinder is not all bad, I assure you. You can give it a chance, hate it or play it like a game, delete the app and then come back to it years later, but maybe-- just maybe-- you'll be one of the lucky ones who finds something unexpectedly real.