I know right now you must feel like you're dying. This must feel like rock bottom. Break ups are never easy even when they are what is best for both people involved.
It is absolutely crushing to fall in love with someone and spend all of your time with them only to have them jerked from your life. When you spend practically every day with someone whether it is for weeks, months, or years it is difficult to cope with the loss of that person from your life. The memories play over and over in your head until you can't stand it any longer. You may have texted that person every day and now they're not there so you feel like something is missing.
We as humans have the normal tendency to develop an attachment to things and people.
Whether you broke up with someone or they broke up with you. Whether you followed your gut and ended the relationship because of lack of a connection or because they didn't make you happy anymore. Whether the other person kicked you to the curb because they weren't done having a good time or because they thought the grass was greener on the other side. There may have been cheating involved or abuse. Regardless of why it didn't work out or the hell you feel that you have been through, it's time to stop wallowing in self-pity.
It's time to realize this is the best worst thing to ever happen to you.
Who am I to be telling you that this pain you feel is temporary? Who am I to tell you that this whole situation is going to have you come out stronger than ever when it's all said and done? I was you. I was that girl who got dumped and cried in my moms lap for the following days. My mom had to take days off of work because I was so distraught.
If you're anything like me when I was in your position then what I'm saying may not matter because you are so enticed by this person you feel you have invested so much time into this person and love that there's no way you can let go. You may think there is no way that going through a breakup can be a positive thing.
That's the crazy part about it though, you don't see it while you're going through it. It's when you come out on the other side after breaking through all the rubble that you see the beauty of it. When you get to where I am now you will be glad you didn't chase the person who left you or the person it just didn't work out with.
You will be thankful that they left you and you will be the happiest you have ever been. You will feel silly for allowing yourself to shed a single tear for someone who did not recognize your worth or treat you the way you deserved to be treated. You will find strength within yourself that you didn't know you possessed within you.
He and I we're together for three years and he was my first love, my high school sweetheart. We spent every day together and he was my main source of happiness. However, he was also one of my greatest sources of pain.
If I said I didn't still love him or miss him sometimes after being apart for a year I would be lying.
Missing someone is natural and still loving someone you once loved is okay. It's normal and it means all those times you said "I love you", you weren't lying. Real love doesn't fade so quickly it lingers. What I realized after being apart for so long was that just because I loved this person and just because I missed this person did not mean that they belonged in my life or that we were meant to be together. No matter how many times I tried to force it to work and give it another try it just wouldn't work out. Why? Why can't something I want work out for me the way I want it to?
That's when I realized through my own growth as a person that GOD IS IN CONTROL.
Time and time again, I forget that God has his own plans for me and that I don't run the show. He does. I kept getting burned because God showed me that this person was no longer meant to be in my life, but I chased him anyway. I knew a snake was poisonous and I chose to pick it up. While the person who hurts you is responsible for their actions and they shouldn't mistreat you, you have to take the blame for choosing to go back, stay, or pine for a person you know is no good for you.
The moment you let a person who is toxic to your life go you have made the best decision you can make for yourself. There are so many positive things that will come of this, trust me on this because I've lived it and so have many others. Most importantly, trust God. God has great plans for you and he cannot put the right person in your life if you are too busy focusing on the wrong one. His timing is ever so perfect.
Ever since I put that broken relationship in His hands and chose to be wrapped in the arms of Jesus rather than the arms of someone with whom I didn't belong, I have been unbelievably happy.
I have no worries or desire to manipulate things until they look how I want them to. As great as it would be to run into the arms of someone and take adorable pictures, I have chosen to wait patiently for what and who is meant for me. Being single and waiting for the right person after being submerged in something that wasn't right for you or someone who didn't value you is something you owe yourself. In that time that you feel so completely broken you will give yourself a chance dig deep and rebuild. You will love yourself in a way that you never did before. You will be heart broken and lonely and without the person you thought was making you happy, making you feel loved, being your best friend.
It sounds miserable and it feels miserable, but in the long run it is helping you become the best version of yourself. You will learn to love yourself, compliment yourself, and be your own bestfriend and you'll want to thank the person who broke your heart later on. You will find so much self love within that you will never accept anything less than being treated respectfully and healthily. You will value yourself in such a way that you stop allowing people to treat you in a way that does not match the way you treat others.
A breakup is not ideal, but it will contribute positively to your growth if you let it.
If you take your free time and devote to things that generate positivity, spend more time with God, pray, and focus more on being the best son, daughter, friend, sibling, student, and employee you can be the happier you will be. Think of this unfortunate turn of events as a chance to be free and open to the possibility that what you thought you had was so amazing, but there's something EVEN BETTER.
If you could love the wrong person the way that you have imagine how much you could love the right person. The bible says "fear not" over because the Lord wants us to know he's got us! You will be more than okay despite how rotten you feel.
I know this is true because I lived through it and because God doesn't give us more than he thinks we can handle.
