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The Best Worst Christmas Songs We All Love

Sorry in advance for the ruined childhoods

Katie Kuckelheim
Dec 22, 2015
Ohio Wesleyan University
19
The Best Worst Christmas Songs We All Love

Christmas songs are songs that will never go away. When you're 80, you'll still be hearing the classic rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer." There are a couple of Christmas songs we've been hearing for song long that we've become desensitized to the absurd and downright weird lyrics.

1. Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer

This is a good song to start with on my list because it's the most obvious. Why in the hell would someone sing about an elderly, hunched over, cookie-making grandma getting run over by a reindeer? Who thinks of that? It’s a Christmas song about grandma getting murdered to a catchy tune! Kids sing this song!

Even worse, this seemingly kid-friendly Christmas song mentions drinking, Grandpa celebrating the fact that his wife was murdered by a mythical flying reindeer, stealing dead grandma's presents, and hit lists.

Whoever wrote this clearly had it out for their grandmother.

2. Frosty the Snowman

This song is inherently a joyful, fun, holiday season song. However, it has a morbid undertone to it. The song clearly means: have a fun life now, before you “melt away.” The lyrics, “so he waved goodbye saying don’t you cry, I’ll be back again someday,” seems more suitable for a funeral than a holiday song. Thanks for making us think about death Frosty!

3. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

I personally love this song. However, the lyrics are absolutely absurd. Just imagine this cute kid’s parents looking at each other unsure of what to actually get this kid for Christmas. I’m not about crushing children’s dreams, so I hope this kid dreams on. However, don’t expect a happy epilogue to this song when he doesn’t get a hippo on Christmas morning. Despite its absurdity, It’s more interesting listening about a kid wanting a hippo for Christmas than a kid wanting a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle.

4. You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

This song brings back childhood memories of the annual must see animated cartoon about a grump who learns the true meaning of Christmas. However, this song has absolutely zero mention of Christmas what so ever. I would serenade this song to my worst enemy. You know it’s an insult when someone calls you a “nasty, wasty skunk.” Hearing the lyrics, “Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk,” really gets me into the holiday spirit. We should consider removing this song from the holiday playlist.

5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Growing up, listening to this song made me wonder: “WHY WOULD MOMMY KISS SANTA CLAUS? WHAT ABOUT DADDY?” Little did I know, I would get the “ah ha” moment when I was older. We better hope this next generation doesn’t figure out who “Santa” is.

6. Santa Baby

This song is practically musical porn. And everyone else who has listened to this song has thought the same thing. Not to judge, but why would the young woman singing this song be seduced by a belly full of jelly, red suited, white haired old man? And think about how this song made Mrs. Claus feel!

Sorry if this article left childhoods in shambles! Merry Christmas!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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