In obvious contradiction to the snooze-fest that was the Democratic debate--according to Trump, at least--the candidates attempted to entice the crowd in Boulder, Colorado with comments where the humor was forced or the message was misdirected and ill-received.
Here are some of them:
Jeb Bush: "Warm Kiss"
Yes, Jeb, because nothing will help you convince those billionaires that their investment was worth it like expressing your bipartisanship with a promised kiss to the democrats for their cooperation. I'm sure Hillary Clinton would welcome it readily.
Ben "Contradiction" Carson:
Like many of the other candidates on that stage Wednesday, Carson was called out by the moderators and responded flabbergasted.
After he was asked why he had denied relations with the company Mannatech, even though he appeared on the homepage of their website, he responded:
Carson ensured the audience that he had no relationship with the nutrition company Mannatech, a dietary supplement maker, except for the few times where he "did a couple speeches for them." He went on to elaborate that, "I do speeches for other people, they were paid speeches. It is absolutely absurd to say that I had any kind of relationship with them."
You worked for them, Ben. That's a relationship.
Ted Cruz: America's Designated Driver and Weed Brownie Conisieur
After the debate moderators asked the candidates what they believed to be their greatest weakness, Ted Cruz responded with an obscure metaphor, where he told members of the audience that he might not be the one to get a beer with them, but he'd be the one to drive them home.
Unless, of course, he got his hands on some of Colorado's finest.
Donald Trump: "My Greatest Weakness"
Trump's response to the moderators' first question was a curious one, indeed. His greatest weakness, you ask?
What we all were thinking: he trusts people too much! Mr. Trump later pointed out that this was one of very few weaknesses he possesses. He also made it clear that he has been attempting to improve on this weakness by firing more people and becoming a businessman who's leadership is defined by cynicism.
Luckily, there was one person he could confidently trust on that stage, Mr. Mike Huckabee.
If nothing else, the republican debates prove to be a great source of entertainment while supplying the viewer with a healthy, gutwrentching laugh on a normally mundane Wednesday evening.
Let's not forget that one of these guys could end up leading our nation, though. To that notion, John Kasich summarized my reaction precisely:
Energetic dance performance under the spotlight.
Taylor Swift in a purple coat, captivating the crowd on stage.
Taylor Swift shines on stage in a sparkling outfit and boots.
Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers sharing a joyful duet on stage.
