Currently sitting on my desk are two pineapple plants. One belongs to me, and dates back to the day I found out that the leaves on the top of a pineapple will grow roots when put into water. The other one belongs to my mother and dates back to the day she noticed the success of my plant and decided that she wanted one for her classroom. During the school year, I am only responsible for the care and well-being of my own plant. However, now that school has ended for the summer, I am also tasked with babysitting the pineapple plant from my mother. A hot classroom devoid of any life except for the occasional bug is no way for a plant to spend its summer vacation.
Pineapples are a type of plant known as a Crassulacean Acid Metabolism or CAM plant.
This means that during the day, they'll keep the openings on their leaves, called stomata, closed. The only time that CAM plants will open their stomata to absorb the CO2 needed for photosynthesis is during the nighttime when the air around them has generally become cooler. Keeping the openings of their leaves closed during the hot daytime allows them to minimize the amount of water that they will lose due to evaporation, which is beneficial for their survival. This adaptation is particularly beneficial to any plant that finds itself in my care. Since the plants lose less water through their leaves, they require less water in their vases.
This is the key to their survival during the long weeks that I forget to water them.
In addition to being one of the lowest-maintenance houseplants that I have ever seen, the pineapple plants are an invaluable component of my desk environment. When I feel as though I need a change in my feng-shui, I can simply rotate the plants so that their leaves cast different shadows across my textbooks, and that the leaves previously facing me can reach for the sunlight outside of my window. Having them on my desk allows me to believe the illusion that they are providing me with extra oxygen with which I can think more clearly with. This motivates me only slightly less than the due dates on my assignments do.
When I move into my dorm room in the fall, my pineapple plant will be accompanying me. I assume that it will greatly enjoy the additional carbon dioxide generated by the vastly increased number of humans occupying the same building as it. Hopefully, this will inspire the plant to work harder at growing bigger, possibly big enough to produce a fruit. There have been none so far, but the plant is barely over a year old. It has developed roots quite nicely and has grown plenty of new leaves, but fruit appears to be something I will need to wait a while for in order to receive.
In the past, I have been the cause of death for numerous plants due to my habit of unintentionally neglecting them, but the pineapples have stayed strong. They are the perfect plant for somebody like me, who lacks a green thumb and lets time slip away from them, but has the best of intentions. I firmly believe that the both of us will be able to make it through college, and expect to see a growing interest in keeping pineapples as houseplants.
