Dear Best Friend(s) I’ve Left Behind,

I’m sorry I graduated and have left you behind. I didn’t want to, not after all we’ve been through together – theatrical shenanigans, hanging out in the choir room, singing duets – I miss those times, and I miss you.

College is everything and nothing, all at once. You’re thrust into a new world, where you can create yourself anew, but you also have nothing but your past to look back on. I’ve kept you in my heart, but there are new friends now sharing that space.

I miss our gossip, as horrible as it sounds. It was never about tearing anyone down, but a matter of blowing off steam – a way to release the tension built up over the day, the resolution to “one” after riding the leading tone of senior year of high school.

I miss singing with you. I was happy to be your duet partner. Whether I was the soprano or the alto in the half of us, what mattered was that we were singing.

Remember that time you sight read the Christmas song on the piano, and you had to sing Soprano 1, even though you’re definitely an alto?

Remember when I’d sit in the soprano section until I would get caught singing the melody and get sent back to Altoland?

Remember singing For Good in concert, and trying not to cry because it was going to be the last time in a long time that we’d get to sing together?

I remember all this and more, and I can’t help but grieve over it.

It was never the plan, you know. We are always asked what we want to become in life, but never how we want to get there. You just assume that your best friend will always be there by your side.

That she’ll always be right there to cheer you on. When she gets the part you wanted, you cheer as loud as you can from backstage after her heart-wrenching song. When she goes on vacation, it’s you that her parents trust to keep her cats alive, and you’re the one the cats trust to feed them and play with them (and eventually pet them).

When she sees you in show after show after show, she finally makes the trek and joins the production team for the theatre company that you’ve been with for the last five years. You cheer for her when she’s first flute second chair, you cheer for her when she’s Sarah Brown, you cheer for her when she’s “the club’s” newest Assistant Producer.

There’s something special about having a best friend. You can have multiple best friends. For instance, when I got to college, my best friends from home didn’t stop being my best friends. They were joined by my roommate, my neighbors, and my fellow music majors. You will never stop being my best friend. As my circle grows, it does not shut you out.

I’m sorry. I never wanted to leave you.

But college is a necessary next step: how else will I get out in the world? If I never left you behind, I’d fall behind in finding myself. How would I ever learn to play piano, or find my voice? College is allowing me to discover new passions and learn what’s important to me – just as I hope it does (did) for you.

Dr. Seuss once said “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened” – don’t grieve over this new chapter in our lives that show two different stories. Smile for the prologue we shared, and the epilogue to come.

I know this chapter is a hard one to stomach, but you’ll get there – you three are the best thing to happen to me, each in your own way.

With all my heart,

Naomi