There is something truly strange about spending 40+ hours awake, and something even stranger about staying productive during that entire time. Ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna tackle the all-nighter.

After some very not-scientific surveying, I've come to the theory that the number of all-nighters you'll pull evens out at about five a year, with higher numbers concentrated in tougher semesters. For instance, I only needed one during my fall semester freshman year, but had to pull off two of them in the spring.

Now, some people may be extra-brilliant and never need to pull an all-nighter, but there's also the worst-case scenario of 36 all-nighters a year. It varies for everyone. That's why we've made this Four Step Guide, so those nights can be as tolerable as possible for everyone trying to live like the opposite of a koala.

But really, screw those guys and their 22 hours of sleep a day.

Step 1: Pick the Right Hill to Die On (Metaphorically Speaking)

Before you attempt your (hopefully) first all-nighter, make sure you're doing it for the right reason. Are you studying for an exam, completing a project, or just trying to get a week's worth of work done in one night so you can party without a care in the world? You want to use your all-nighter on something you don't mind being a little sloppy, because that's how work turns out when you've been awake for that long.

For instance, using an all-nighter to do all the research you need for your paper and to crank out a first draft is a better idea than spending it trying to make the perfect presentation that you're going to give at 10 a.m. the next day. An all-nighter can take its toll on you, so make sure you use it correctly.

The phrase "write drunk, edit sober" comes to mind.

Step 2: Make Your Game Plan

Like G.I. Joe always said, knowing is half the battle. There are two things you need to decide on when you're accomplishing your all-nighter.

Pick the right day: On my first all-nighter, I made the mistake of writing a thirteen page paper the night before going to a sorority invite. I had a great time, and bless my date, but I fell asleep on her during the bus ride back. Not a very smooth move. The lesson to learn is this: find a time where you don't really have anything important going on the next day, or preferably, nothing at all.

Assemble your team (or not): Some people do better working in groups, whether it's preparing a project or studying for a final. Other people need to work alone. Figure out which one is best for you and stick with it.

Pick the right location: Just because your dorm has a desk does not mean it's the perfect place to work for long periods of time. While that might work sometimes, it's not meant to be a serious workplace, according to the people who made them. Also, be a less crappy roommate and don't mess with the the sleep schedule of anyone who's living with you.

It may seem intimidating, but Leavey Library is your best bet. I like the basement because you can't tell how much time has passed when you're in a room with no windows or natural light. It's a psychological thing, I suppose. Plus, you're right next to a 24 hour Starbucks. Which brings us to the next point:

Step 3: Learn from the Truck Drivers

That was a real good segue, wasn't it? You may not know this, but long-haul truck drivers regularly work 16+ hour shifts multiple times in one week, traveling thousands of miles in a day. They have a couple ways to do this without dying, which are worth adapting for your all-nighter.

1. Eat a big meal before you start, and slowly snack throughout the night (avoid sugar, though.)
2. Be smart with your caffeine. Drink slowly and spread out your consumption. Drinking ten 5-Hour Energys will not give you fifty continuous hours of energy.
3. If you're going to nap, do it early in the night, or you'll just fall asleep. Maybe try a caffeine nap.
4. Music affects your mood, so fast songs will keep you more alert. Singing is optional. Maybe try this on repeat.

Step 4: Take Time to Recover like a Mofo

After finishing your all-nighter, you're going to want to take a nice long rest. That's exactly what you should do. Don't try to go lifting or do more work. Just relax, eat, and sleep for the whole day. You earned it.