Don’t start now. You were doing so good all on your own. You were so focused on yourself and getting stuff done, so why is it that all of a sudden your attention is all turned on to him?
Stop thinking of his impeccable smile and the way your heart skips a beat when he looks at you. Stop now. Stop thinking that this boy is going to give up his perfect games of nightly hit-it-and-quiet-it’s just to have you laying in his perfectly sculpted arms. Stop now. Stop thinking that you have to look calm and collected whenever he walks by, not allowing your weird self to sparkle through. Stop thinking so much. Stop talking so much. Stop looking so much. Because if he wanted you... he would be standing there in front of you.
He would make no hesitation to approach you and look you directly in the eyes with his sweet, intense stare. He wouldn’t just stand there staring at you and purposely walking by you in hopes that you’d talk to him. He wouldn’t let you walk out of that door without a smile on your face and your lips on his. He would find you and go get you. He would grab your hand and squeeze it with rough hands and a softened heart. He would run his hands through your hair and kiss you every chance he got. He wouldn’t let you walk away. Hell, he wouldn’t let you go.
What you have to do now is solely let yourself not give a damn. You have to care about yourself and only what you want to be putting up with every waking day. You have to stop thinking about what he’s doing and if what he’s doing is going to hurt you because, let’s be honest, he doesn’t give a f***. When he’s off doing his own thing he’s not thinking about what is going to hurt you. He’s thinking about what’s going to make him happy and that, that my love, should be you. You should be making every move you want to make in hopes that it would make YOU and only you happy.
Things didn’t happen the first time because you were searching for him and trying to get his attention. It happened because you weren’t. It happened because you were doing you and having a blast and unexpectedly, the opportunity gracefully fell into your lap.
So stop now with the grieving and “I’m hoping things get better” s***, because the only way things are going to get better is if you’re happy with the decisions you're making. A woman cares solely for the sake of others, but a man, a man only cares once the woman has stopped trying all together.
