I embarked on my study abroad journey to Florence, Italy only about a week ago and I have already noticed the culture impacting me, in particular cellphone usage during “social gatherings.”

Consider the fact that 82% of respondents to one of Pew Research Center’s surveys (2015) believe using a cellphone in a social setting can kill the conversation.

Cellphone etiquette, however, isn’t quite as progressive.

89% of respondents said they used their cellphone during a recent social gathering, according to Pew.

These two statistics collectively suggest that people are saying one thing and doing another, demonstrating a drastic gap between their attitudes and actions.

Well I’m abroad, and having cellphone service and the complete package (i.e. talk, text and data) isn’t necessarily the cheapest or easiest thing to purchase—but it was still something I wanted. Thus, I figured it out and forked over the $650 to unlock my phone in the states, $60 for a very limited international plan from AT&T to text when I landed, 34 euros (38 US dollars) for an Italian SIM card with data and finally any remaining charges for SMS messaging (which are 25 cents per message).

Total cost to stay connected? $744 thus far. Quite hefty.

I forced myself to think I needed all of this in order to avoid getting lost in this foreign world and stay up-to-date with friends and family. Coming from a guy with no sense of direction, having a minimal data plan to use the Maps App was, well, sensible. But $744 worth?

Probably not.

One night I was at the bar grabbing some food and drinks with friends. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, so I took it out to check and reply to the messages I received. But the person sitting across from me immediately jumped up and said, “C’mon man, put your phone away—you’re in Florence, damn it!”

And that’s when it hit me—my attitude towards cellphone usage was different than my actual cellphone usage.

I constantly preach to my friends and family to put down their phones and explicitly communicate with the physical people who are in the room—not across the country. I even implemented a no-cellphone rule during family dinners.

But yet, I just spent $744 in order to be able to constantly communicate with others, check social media and stay up-to-update on news—even when I’m in real-life social gatherings.

Plus, I broke my own no-cellphone rule at the dinner table in Italy one night.

It took me a jaunt to Italy to realize this gap in my attitudes and actions and how I need to more appropriately use my phone.

The Take-Away

I find that there are relatively two opinions on the issue of over-connectedness: it’s either important to stay connected because of the endless possibility a smart phone can provide or smart phones are the root of today’s “social problems.”

But I’ll be Switzerland and take the middle of the road here in Italy: use your phone, when it’s appropriate. Let’s call this principle cellphone-isms (a pun on mannerisms).

Keep it away during real-life social interactions so you don’t miss out on them. Only use it during those types of settings if it is strictly essential. Harp on the opportunity to engage in face-to-face interactions when you can; don’t let your cellphone be a barrier to in-person communication.

Leisurely, use your cellphone when you’re not with others—like in the bathroom, my personal favorite.

Thus, balance. Don’t over-do it, but don’t completely cut your cellphone usage cold-turkey—that would be ridiculous by today’s standards.