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The Bachelorette: Bachelor Breakdown

Which one of these 26 men will steal JoJo Fletcher's heart?

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The Bachelorette: Bachelor Breakdown
ABC : The Bachelorette

Reality television is quite popular in this generation, especially the television shows that have endless amounts of drama. Both of the hit ABC series The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are popular nation-wide. The sole purpose of the show is about a bachelor or bachelorette looking for love. Every season, there is approximately 25 contestants on the show that try to win the love of the bachelor or the bachelorette. Last season on The Bachelor, Ben Higgins basically captured the hearts of “the bachelor nation,” a phrase used to describe all of the audience members that watch this series. His bright smile, dark hair, and sweet charisma charmed his bachelorettes, and in the end he chose to further his relationship with Lauren Bushnell, rather than Joelle “JoJo” Fletcher. After this heartbreak, JoJo is back and better than ever as the bachelorette for this season. Season 12’s first episode of The Bachelorette aired on Monday, May 23rd on ABC, and after watching it I felt the need to do a little recap on who the bachelors are.

The stunning JoJo Fletcher is a 25-year-old, successful real estate agent. Her luscious hair, sun-kissed skin, and bright smile have all the guys crazy about her. Not only is she beautiful, but she is very well-rounded, too. She enjoys traveling, spending time with family, sporting events, and country music. She’s basically the full-package, so no wonder everyone loves her.

This season on The Bachelorette, JoJo is presented with 26 “husband material” men who are ready to fall in love with her. All of these men are so unique in their own way, so it will be interesting to see who JoJo will fall for, and if she will stray from her usual “bad boy” preference. So with that being said, here is a review about all of the eligible bachelors.

1. Alex

A 25-year-old United States Marine from California, he claims to be self-motivated, loyal and intuitive. His chocolate brown hair and nice smile are definitely the first two things I noticed about him, but he is a little bit on the shorter side. After all the guys were introduced, he was the first one to steal JoJo so he could show off his athletic skills by doing some push-up’s while she sat on him. I definitely suck at push up’s, so total props to him for doing that while wearing dress clothes.

2. Ali

A 27-year-old bartender from Santa Monica, California. This guy seems super chill, and his best attributes include his sense of humor, as well as his sweet and caring personality. Did I mention that he plays the piano and knows how to surf? That is pretty rad. The only thing that was kind of strange was his awkward wave as he stepped out of the limousine and laid eyes on JoJo. He seems like a nice guy though, so maybe JoJo will give him a chance.

3. Brandon

A hipster. Yes, his occupation is a hipster. That is pretty tight though, if I do say so myself. His longer, brunette hair definitely captures the hipster aspect, too. This guy is very humble, creative, and athletic. Good vibes. He did not even watch Ben’s season of The Bachelor, so like why is he here? Does he even know who JoJo is?

4. Chad

BEAUTIFUL. Okay, yes, I might be a little biased, but this man has the nicest smile and facial hair ever. This 28-year-old luxury real estate agent is 6’2”, confident, good-hearted, and witty. As he stepped out of the limousine, his voice was so deep and all I could hear was him say “Chad.” He seemed a little boring at first, but then turned into a total savage by providing the most hysterical commentary throughout the episode. JoJo loves how mysterious he is, too. Did you see the previews for the rest of the season, though? Things look a little tense and chaotic with Chad, so it will be interesting to see what will happen throughout the season. In my opinion, he is definitely one of the top contenders for JoJo.

5. Chase

He is a 27-year-old medical sales representative who made a first impression by wearing sunglasses with a mustache attached to them, and then saying something about “I mustache you” rather than “I must ask you” to JoJo. I thought it was kind of funny, since silly jokes are my favorite, but I wonder what JoJo was thinking at the time. That joke is a representation of Chase’s sense of humor, but he also claims to be very honest and ambitious. I wonder how far Chase and his stylish hair will make it in this season, because I think he and JoJo would look great together. They would have cute kids, too.

6. Christian

Christian is a 26-year-old telecom consultant. This guy has such a way with words that will make any girl swoon for him. He even rode in on a motorcycle to meet JoJo, which she thought to be really attractive. I love his personality a lot, as he seems to be very driven and ambitious. I approve of Christian.

7. Coley

Coley is a 27-year-old real estate consultant. He seemed super nice, but I guess JoJo and him did not hit it off right away. To put things short, he was already eliminated at the first rose ceremony. Bye-bye, Coley.

8. Derek

Derek is a 29-year-old commercial banker, and boy, is he a cutie. His bright, baby blue eyes literally catch everyone off guard, along with his soft smile. Derek’s compassion for others and his desire to learn are definitely great attributes. However, he called JoJo “sexy” on the first night. I wonder if she liked that… I guess we will find out on the next episode!

9. Daniel

Daniel is a 31-year-old, Canadian male model. Similar to Chad, Daniel also provided some interesting commentary about the other guys. On the first night there is always that one guy that drinks way too much and eventually jumps in the pool with barely any clothing on. Daniel just so happened to be that guy… He even poked other guys’ belly buttons. How did he make it past the first rose ceremony? I bet the producers paid to have him stay on for a few more episodes.

10. Evan

Evan is a 33-year-old erectile dysfunction expert. Yes, he is an expert on erectile dysfunction. I wonder how much he gets paid for that career… Anyways, he claims to be very fun and open, as he leaves a lasting first impression, especially when he states his occupation.

11. Grant

Grant is a 27-year-old firefighter. That’s right, he is a cutie that also saves lives. Grant claims to be thoughtful, as he is good at making people smile and feel appreciated. I hope he establishes a good relationship with JoJo, plus the name Grant is adorable, so what’s not to love about him? She better not take him for "Grant"ed...

12. Jake

Jake is a 27-year-old landscape architect. He seemed super nice, but I guess his first impression did not have a lasting effect on JoJo because he was eliminated at the first rose ceremony. Sorry, Jake. Maybe you could apply to be on Bachelor In Paradise.

13. James F.

James F. is a 34-year-old boxing club owner has a positive attitude and the desire to succeed in life. In his introduction he brought up the rose. I wonder if he should have done that or not, as it might seem a little desperate. Oh well, it worked for the first rose ceremony! Too bad James F. doesn’t stand for James Franco… If that were the case, I would have married him on the spot.

14. James S.

James S. is a Bachelor super fan. Literally, he is obsessed with anything and everything about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. He is 27-years-old and he is super cute, but why is that his profession? I think he was more nervous to talk to the host, Chris Harrison, than he was while talking to JoJo. I wonder how he made it past the first rose ceremony…

15. James Taylor

James Taylor is dreamy. He literally stepped out of the limousine singing and playing the guitar for JoJo. She was serenaded on a first impression… Like how it that even fair? James Taylor is amazing. This 29-year-old country guy is a singer-songwriter, who is also known for his sense of humor, kindness, and outgoing personality. Basically, JoJo could have country music for the rest of her life if she married him. He is one of my favorites, as he seems to be very genuine, so I really hope he goes far on the show. Maybe he will be “the one.” Although I am not a fan of country music, I think every girl deserves a James Taylor in her life.

16. Jonathan

Jonathon was one of the most memorable guys from the first episode. This 29-year-old technical sales representative wore a kilt on the first night. Yes, a kilt. He is literally “Scottish from the waist down” which he allowed JoJo to make her own interpretations on that statement. Did I mention that he wore NOTHING under his kilt? Yikes. Anyways, Jonathan was just super awkward, and he was eliminated already. Next time he should probably make a better first impression, especially if it is a potential future wife.

17. Jordan

Jordan is gorgeous. This 27-year-old former professional quarterback is the brother of Aaron Rodgers, the current quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. Basically, their family has great genes as they are all physically attractive. Jordan’s best attributes are his humor, energy and empathy. He was the first one to step foot out of the limousine to meet JoJo, and I bet that set JoJo’s standards super high for the rest of the guys especially since she kept telling him how amazing he looked and even said “hot” as he was walking away. Jordan received the first impression rose, which meant that he was already safe prior to the first rose ceremony. He and JoJo instantly had such a strong connection, and they had the first “real” kiss together. Plus, Jordan has a nice butt. As of right now, Jordan is definitely one of JoJo’s favorites, but I wonder if it is too good to be true… If Jordan doesn’t win, he should definitely call me sometime.

18. Luke

Luke is a 31-year-old war veteran known for his competence, patience, and empathy for others. He is wonderful and a beautiful person, both inside and out. This country guy is from Texas, just like JoJo is, so it would be pretty convenient if they ended up together. Also, he just seems very charming and genuine. For his first impression, he rode in on a horse that had a fake horn, to resemble a unicorn. When JoJo was on Ben’s season of The Bachelor, she stepped out of the limousine wearing a unicorn mask. Basically, it is like the quote “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird” from The Notebook, but rather, if JoJo is a unicorn, then Luke’s a unicorn. Aw… I hope Luke and JoJo have a great relationship, because I could definitely see them together.

19 Nick B.

Nick B. is also known as Saint Nick. This guy full-out dressed up as Santa and repeatedly said “JO JO JO!” instead of “HO HO HO!” throughout the entire episode. It was hilarious. I love this guy. This 33-year-old electrical engineer is passionate, intuitive, and athletic. At one point during the first episode, JoJo felt obligated to sit on Nick B.’s lap while talking to him because he was dressed up as Santa. It was funny, but I wonder what Nick B. looks like in a normal suit…

20. Nick S.

Nick S. is a 26-year-old software salesman who is transparent, empathetic, and adaptable. I literally do not even recall him being on the first episode, but he was. Too bad we will not be able to learn more about Nick S. because he was already eliminated. Sorry, Nick. Maybe you should take notes and try wearing the Santa suit like the other Nick did.

21. Peter

Peter is a 26-year-old staffing agency manager who is known for his energy, personality and curiosity. For his first impression, he said something along the lines of being JoJo’s #MCM while holding a heart-shaped pillow. I guess JoJo did not want him to be her #MCM because he is already eliminated. Hopefully Peter can find his #WCW somewhere else. Sorry, bud…

22. Robby

Robby is literally what Miley Stewart from Hannah Montana would call a “hottie lamottie with the swimmers body.” That’s right. This 27-year-old former competitive swimmer is not only handsome, but genuine and motivated, too. His perfectly styled hair and smile went perfectly with the bottle of wine he presented to JoJo when he first met her. This guy is classy. We need more Robby’s in this world.

23. Sal

Sal is a 28-year-old operations manager who is quite dependable and truthful. During his first impression, he handed JoJo two squishy, blue balls and tried to make a funny joke out of it. I guess his sense of humor is not that great after all. Sal is already eliminated which sucks because he is very easy on the eyes.

24. Vinny

Vinny is a 28-year-old barber who always rocks a clean cut. This personable, hardworking, and driving guy wanted to give a toast to JoJo. It turns out that it was literally toast, just a slice of bread. Vinny was also one of the guys that drank way too much and invited himself into the room where JoJo was getting interviewed. Hopefully his words to JoJo are not slurred in the future like they were the first night.

25. Wells

Wells, Wells, Wells… This guy is simply charming. This 31-year-old radio DJ brought his wingmen, the guys of All-4-One, to sing for JoJo. Since music is such a huge part of his life, Wells thought that this would be the best way to show his love for music. If I were JoJo, I would have died of happiness right there. This guy literally stole the show, and he has great potential to be with JoJo in the end of the season.

26. Will

Will actually had me crying because he was hilarious. The 26-year-old civil engineer stepped out of the limousine with notecards and dropped them. He “accidentally” mixed the order of the cards and said that he was beautiful rather than that JoJo was beautiful. It was hilarious, but it gets even better. Remember back in elementary school when people would make those “cootie catchers” out of paper that tell your fortune? Well, Will decided he would make one for JoJo. After JoJo selected her number, he lifted up the flap and they read that they would have to kiss each other. Technically, Will was JoJo’s first kiss even though it was an awkward peck. Maybe Jordan should show Will how a real man should kiss a lady.

So, there you have it, Bachelor Nation! I hope that after watching the first episode and reading this article, you are prepared to watch the rest of the season. If you are a die-hard fan like I am, you should consider filling out a bracket. It is basically like NCAA March Madness, but for the eligible bachelors instead of collegiate basketball teams. Season 12 ofThe Bachelorette is bound to be “the most dramatic season yet” according to the host, Chris Harrison. I bet he gets paid so much to say that, as he says it for literally every season. Turn the channel to ABC on Monday nights to get your weekly fix of The Bachelorette and stay updated on who accepts JoJo’s roses at every rose ceremony.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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