We rarely listen to the gesturing of hands or shifts in hips, so we read lips and think of responses before they even finish. The English language makes this easy for us with the millions of synonyms and connectors, but when that's taken away, would we tell the world we are the same person as before?
In the province of Imbabura, Ecuador, there is a woman named Esmerelda. Her ears cannot hear, her ankle never healed, and her boy has to have the role of a man. They live alone in a concrete house, with a mutt as their guard. Life to them is simple.
They speak Spanish in their community because it is all they need. Walking into their life for a week, they welcomed me with no way to say so. Esmerelda cannot speak, let alone force English words out and into the air. So I met them.
The boy was humorous, light-hearted, and frankly, kind of a troublemaker. We jumped rope, and every turn he would go faster until you messed up just so he could have his chance. By the end of my week, his courtyard games turned into helping us in the clinic. His playful pushes turned into high fives. His suspicious glances turned into squinted eye laughing.
Esmerelda gave me a kiss to say goodbye as if I was a piece of her own, and she laughed at herself, making jokes about things I couldn't see. Names, ages, or places didn't matter to her, she only cared about who you were in front of her, and she was always grateful. She loved getting to cook for us because it was a language she knew- being full- though the world would tell her she is empty.
Esmerelda gave love when she didn't dismiss her sons' quick hug. She has never heard his voice or told him I love you, but she gets to show his strength and purpose.
Likewise, he has never told her how proud he is or that she is his role model, but he never leaves her while running up the hill. He tells everyone her name, that she cannot speak, and that despite it all, she can listen.
For them, each other and the community in the church is enough. Their story is redemption and perseverance. Their language is not loving, it is the dedication and being a team, it is an identity as a family.
I used to believe that the worst thing that could happen is dependence, but from Esmerelda, I now understand it is lack of identity.
