To be a good writer you have to take risks. In fact, to be good at pretty much anything besides performing heart surgery you have to take risks. After all, no one ever changed the world by playing it safe. Every week, when I think about what I want to write for my article I start off with something exceptionally deep and profound but then somehow I end up writing a piece on why Cocoa Pebbles is hands down the superior cereal to Fruity Pebbles. Which it undoubtedly is, but that's besides the point. This transition happens because midway through the first line of my serious article I panic and start to overthink, which as we all well know is never a good idea. If I start to write an opinion article I worry that I'll say something ignorant or someone will be offended because they don't agree with my standpoint. Sometimes I write something risqué and then remember that my parents read my articles. Other times I think about the fact that prospective employers could potentially stumble across my blog and read something that makes them decide not to hire me. I am in a constant state of internal debate about how personal I should get in my articles. This extreme second guessing of myself often leads to me writing shallow articles like "What to Do When You Misplace a Water Bottle" or "10 Ways to Give the Impression That You've Done the Reading For Class When You Didn't Even Crack Open the Textbook."
I don't write in a diary so my weekly blog had kind of turned into a pseudo journal of sorts. Often, I have to remind myself that this is certainly not a diary and is the furthest thing from being private. Anyone can read it if their heart so desires. So I should probably refrain from writing about the cute guy I have a crush on or my roommate who never takes out the trash lest they read it and disassociate themselves from me.
My paranoia about someone being offended by my article has gotten so bad that I once briefly mentioned how this random guy who sat next to me on a 3 AM flight decided to shake me awake despite the fact that I was fast asleep so that he could proceed to talk my ear off for the duration of the entire flight. But then I remembered he friend requested me on Facebook as soon as we landed and became worried that he would decide to read the article for some reason. So I deleted the entire article and decided to start from scratch instead.
I don't like to put myself out there for fear of rejection when it comes to relationships or job prospects and that anxiety about being vulnerable also applies to something as trivial as a blog post. It's an insecurity that I wish more than anything would go away. Instead of worrying about what other people will think I should just write for myself. At the end of the day all that matters is that I am happy with what I put out there. Whether that be something dark and depressing or a ranking of the different types of pasta from worst to best.
