Love languages. Everyone has certain ways in which they feel most fulfilled and loved. Within the five love languages of gifts, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and words of affirmation, many people’s preferences vary. While acts of service might be at the bottom of my list, it might be at the top of yours. Either way, there is a steady consistency with one of the love languages among most of the people I know: words of affirmation.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to feel affirmed in a relationship, friendship, or by their family. That’s the whole reason we have social media, isn’t it? To feel affirmed through a heart or “thumbs up” button and a few comments of “omg, you’re so pretty” or *insert several flame and heart eye emojis* here and there. It feels good. No one would say it doesn’t.

But, I’ve been challenged. When I surface from my screen’s facade, what am I doing with my words? Honestly, I’d be ashamed if anyone reading this listened in on my conversations from this past week. They were weighed down in negativity and gossip. They were scornful and full of petty arguments. It’s a vicious, weekly cycle. I’ve always been taught to build people up with my words and not tear them down, but I never considered that building others up isn’t just avoiding gossiping about people, it’s intentional. It’s selflessly encouraging others. It draws people to the source of encouragement, which points right back to the Lord. Am I being Jesus to those around me? Am I building them up and reminding them how awesome they are and showing them how He sees them instead of how my broken, sinful flesh may see them?

While I’ve been using my words to destroy, those around me have shown me daily what encouragement really is. I don’t think she knows how much this meant to me, but one of my best friends did something as simple as posting a picture of me on Instagram and saying how excited she was to see me in a few days and I cried because it made me feel so, so loved in such a simple way. At my job at my church, my pastors and those on staff have encouraged me so much in so many different ways and I leave with my “cup of affirmation” overflowing. Yesterday, an elderly woman who turned around to tell me I have natural beauty when I feel like my red, acne marred face and frizzy, untamable hair is scaring everyone away. I need that. Everyone needs that. So am I being that person for other people?

This week so many people encouraged me, which reminded me the art of affirmation. It’s what keeps us going. It’s what keeps those around us going. I want to go from this week and be that person who focuses on building those around me up so they know how loved and how special they are. Your friends need you to be that person. It’s what we crave. It shows the genuine character of our Savior. This week, love on people with your words, you never know how much people will cherish them.