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The Apology

I am truly sorry I couldn't be what you wanted

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The Apology

Written: July 20, 2018

Happy 25th birthday my love, I hope you enjoyed your week in Nashville. I am so proud of you for everything that you do. You are an amazing son, brother, friend, coach, and much more, but you were an amazing boyfriend to me.

Recently, I took advice from a very wise man, and he told me a story about him and the love of his life. He said to me that when you love someone, you never give up. He went to Africa for three years, and the love of his life was waiting on him. They had a huge argument two days before he left for the war. When he arrived in Africa, there was a letter waiting for him. The letter was about the argument they had, the love of his life threw her ring into the fireplace. He got into the fireplace to get it. He took the ring with him to the war to remind him of her. She asked him if he had the ring and he said yes. He carried it with him for the three years he was gone. She did not get the ring back until 10 days before the wedding. This man is my Grandfather.

We had an argument about something that you love. I do not want to take away your first love, and that is softball. Softball is something that you have done for years, and I never want to take it away from you. It is there for you when nothing is, it is something that you get a joy out of. I loved watching you play, but I also loved spending quality time with you. I want to support you in all that you do and did. Compromise and communication is what makes a relationship 100%. This past week, I was able to reflect on myself, and I realized everything I did wrong. I lost controls of all of my actions and emotions. I should have respected your request but ignored it because I also took advice from a wise man that I love. That advice was "to never go to bed mad at your loved one." That wise man is you.

You are amazing to me, and we had an argument. We had a misunderstanding with each other, and I am really sorry about that. I am thankful that God has been by my side this entire time. I have prayed to him, and I have listened to his advice has given me. I am improving myself each day. I have spent time talking to my aunt & gran at their resting places, and I have talked to Our Matchmaker at his resting spot. He told me that you are a hard-headed person with the most loving heart. He told me not to give up on you. So here I am writing this letter, I am so thankful for the time we have spent together, and I am so very thankful for the lessons that it has taught me. Remember when you wrote "22 reasons why you love me" well here are my "22 reasons why I love you."

1. You have stood by my side through everything

2. I love watching you play softball, but yes I get jealous of the time it takes

3. I don't regret anything about us

4. You are my best friend

5. You are able to cheer me up at anytime

6. Your smile that I loved seeing

7. My family adores you

8. Seeing you with all of our nieces and nephews makes the future exciting

9. You have the biggest heart

10. You see me for me

11. When you cuddle with me, I feel like the most important girl in the world

12. You put me in my place because I am just as stubborn as you

13. My favorite number: YOU LOVED ME WHEN I DIDN'T LOVE MYSELF

14. Coming to see me when I was sick in the middle of the week

15. Helping me change for the better

16. "Just thinking about you and was hoping this makes you smile, eye roll, and look away all at the same time."

17. the gorgeous flowers

18. Road-trips to random places

19. Spontaneous random dates

20. Our sleepovers

21. Movie dates- in bed or at the movies

22. Your Favorite number: I love you for you

I should have respected your requests. But I wanted to reach out one last time to let you know that you are the Love of my life, and no matter what has happened, I'm thankful for God for showing me love like ours. You have my heart, *insert name*. I love you

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