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The Answers To All Your Burning Questions

Literally

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The Answers To All Your Burning Questions
DisasterIdaho.com

Burns can be nasty, painful, or helpful depending on how the fire or heat is being used, or how it impacts your surroundings and even yourself. Read this article to answer a few of your possible questions regarding burning and burns.

How to safely burn leaves

Make sure you set up the pile of leaves as close as possible to your least favorite neighbor's yard, cover the leaves in petroleum, and drop a match in there. Then just walk away (bonus points if you don't look back.) Just kidding, don't do that, this is an example of how to be dangerous, which is cool, but you could die (and your neighbors could too.) Basically, do the opposite. Once all the leaves are in a pile, make sure they are not on top of grass, because then the grass could go up in flames along with the leaves. Also make sure there aren't any cute bunnies living in a burrow nearby. That would be a terrifying and toasty surprise for them. Then, light one or two leaves and let the fire gradually spread. Keep a close eye on the fire, and don't turn your back to it.

How to not burn your house down

Some obvious ways to prevent setting your house on fire are to not play with matches or lighters, smoke cigarettes inside, leave the oven on, or practice your fire-bending skills in your room.

Can you set fire to the rain?

No, I'm afraid not. Adele lied to you. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I wish my best to you.

Burning old notes and assignments from class

Awww yeaaah, you just finished the final exam of your dreaded U.S. History class. Now what? Well, what better thing is there to do than set up a little bonfire and watch every tedious note and assignment burn away to ashes? Unless you think you might want to look back at those notes for reference later on in life ... but we have the internet now, which is faster and easier to read than chicken scratch. And of course, notes really improve the quality of the fire.

Burning everything you still have from your exes

Ooops, did you find one of your ex-boyfriend's T-shirts in your closet? Well, there's nothing better to do than burn it! Burn it in the fiery pits of hell (along with any bad memories that go along with all that stuff)!

How to burn a fire mixtape

First, you need a blank CD, or an actual tape if you're just that old-school and rad. Then, you need some super hot tracks. Then, magically, using computer music software knowledge, burn those sizzling tunes onto the blank disk/tape. Voila. There you have it, a piping hot fire mixtape burned just for you, your friends, family, acquaintances, or strangers who look like they might enjoy your dank music taste.

How to avoid burning your eyes in the shower

Wear goggles or, better yet, one of those face masks! They're not just for swimming anymore!

Eat healthy to avoid heartburn

Basically, just eat a healthy diet. I personally don't know the struggle of heartburn, and I choose healthy foods, so just be like me!

Caring for burns from hot things

Ouch! Did you accidentally give the stove a high five and now your hand feels like it has been dipped in lava? Quick! Run over to the sink and stick your lava hand under cool water for a while. This will help reduce the pain. Then, depending on the severity of the burn, treat it accordingly and put a bandage on the burn if necessary.

So there you have it, all your burning questions (literally) answered.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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