The term “friend” is used so loosely now-a-days that being able to distinguish who the real ones are has become very difficult. What people do not often understand is the difference between “acquaintances,” “party-friends,” and “real friends.”

“Bring girls,” is a common statement made when parties are being held or the boat is being taken out. The first people we go to are our real friends to bring out, because why would I want to invest my time with irrelevant people? But when they aren’t available, we rummage through our phones to find girls that we have fun partying with that would be a good time to go out with, as well as something for guys to look at. Those would be considered the “party-friends.” Nothing wrong with “party-friends,” some of my “party friends” have become my real friends, and some that were my real friends became my “party-friends.”

“Acquaintances” are typically people we know through mutual friends. We say, “Hello,” when we see them out, but there was never any real connection or potential for a friendship. Not necessarily someone we dislike, just someone that is around. A friend of a friend.

Then there are your “real friends.” These are the ones you go to for everything, the ones you know you can count on for anything; they know you inside and out, will never judge and overall is there when you need them. There are different categories for “real-friends,” there’s “family,” and “best friends.”

“Sisters” are the ones that have been there for everything, you may not talk every day or see each other every day but you know they are there. You can go months without seeing each other, but when you are together it is as if nothing has changed and you pick back up right where you left off. For example, my best friend Kimberly. She has been by my side for absolutely everything in the last 7 years, from family to boys to school to accepting every stupid thing that I’ve done and still had my back no matter what. Unfortunately, one day we both caught each other on an off mood and a fight escalated to a very nasty measure, things were said that could not be taken back. We didn’t speak for maybe a year, a year and a half? We both moved up to Boca Raton for college and ran into each other one too many times not to say, “Hi.” After the third time, I finally reached out to make amends or at least talk. The second she got into my car, it was as if nothing had changed and everything was forgotten; we both did wrong and we both acknowledged it. But, just like that, we picked up right where we had left off a year ago and in my heart I know she will forever be my sister.

Then there are “best friends.” I have come to learn that that term is also used very loosely. I do not even know how to define a best friend anymore because I have seen them come and go over the years.

There are new friends that come into our lives that we talk to everyday, go out with every day, share our personal stories with. They are the ones that are with you for every incident that has occurred, considered inseparable. We share such a strong connection, and then one day it’s all gone.

Whether it is your fault, or your friends, does not matter in the situation but if the friendship was truly real, no fight could break the bond. I have made many mistakes in the last few months, but have learned from them all. Recently, three of my closest “best friends” and I were not in a good place. In my opinion, two of them were for minor reasons; the third was more serious but was both of our faults. In this process, I realized who the “real ones,” were and I learned an important lesson and something new about each person.

Those that forgave me in the past are the ones that I know are real, despite anything I have done and have had to apologize for. The ones that are real are the ones that see my heart and who I truly am.

I am no angel, I have made my mistakes. I am not perfect and when I am wrong I own up to it and apologize. Even when something is not completely my fault, I am the bigger person to say something first or apologize on my side because I do not and cannot hold grudges against my friends. I take a lot of actions without thinking, but it’s never to intentionally hurt someone or even to hurt someone at all. But what I have come to learn is that the way I think is not how others think. A situation that could mean absolutely nothing to me could mean something to someone else. For example, I am not one to tell others not to be friends with someone because of my disliking towards them or a problem that occurred between us; but I have friends that expect that from me and it’s hard for me to understand that, because that is not the way I am. It does not mean I am disrespecting my friends’ feelings, but I have come to learn that some people do take that personally and I have to learn to come out of my own world.

When I know that I have a true friendship in front of me, I fight for them because I do not take one person in my life for granted. We all make mistakes and we all learn from them, maybe not right away but eventually. I have learned that we handle situations in ways that others may not agree with, and if you truly care about that person you need to step out of your world and into theirs to make things truly right to show you care.

The next time you call someone a friend, think to yourself who that person is in your life. If you are truly grateful for them, respect their feelings and their wishes. Be careful, because those that are there today may not be there tomorrow and the next thing you know that one person you used to call for everything, that was there for you every day could just become the “acquaintance,” you bi-pass when you are out and say hi to, or not.

Take a minute to think about who has been there for you, and just show them the appreciation you have for them. Friends come and go; those that stick around through the good and the bad times are the ones that are staying with you through everything and every mess-up. The people in my life are my anchors, and without them I don’t know where I would be. To my girls that have put up with me through everything, even when you did not agree with what I was doing or when I was in the wrong, thank you for staying by my side. I love you all more than you could ever know. Thank you for being my family, looking out for me, being real with me(even when I don’t want to hear it), and always wanting the best for me.

Dedicated to:

Amber Fredricks

Denielle LaMendola

Kimberly Pandel

Madelein Bermeo

Holly Olsen

Markie Salter