The Alpacalypse is Nigh | The Odyssey Online
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The Alpacalypse is Nigh

And it's the cutest thing ever.

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The Alpacalypse is Nigh
acuteaday

It's that time of year again: finals. Whoo. Here's the deal; I do not have the mental capacity to write out an intelligible article due to sleeplessness and countless hours of studying, and you probably don't have enough energy to read something intelligent. So I'm gonna do us both a favor. I'm just going to talk about alpacas.

1. Alpacas are related to llamas.

These little guys here. Alpacas are domesticated versions of vicuñas, ruminants that live high in the Andes mountains. They're among the most ancient of domesticated animals and it was done so that we could use their fur for wool. Thus, there are no herds of wild alpacas.

2. Alpacas are really cute.

They're cuter than pretty much everything. This is scientifically proven.

3. Alpacas are basically just teddy bears.

Their fur is also used to make teddy bears. They have some of the softest fleece, and it doesn't have lanolin, so it's hypoallergenic. It's used to make a wide variety of things, from scarves and hats to bedding. Sweaters are most common. Seriously, go buy yourself something made with alpaca fleece. You will not regret it.

3. Alpacas make wonderful friends.

They're very social creatures. They love being with people, other alpacas and are even known to get along well with many other species. If left alone, an alpaca will quickly get lonely, even to the point of becoming depressed. Therefore, it's often a rule of breeders that two or more must be bought together. Alpacas have gentle natures and are quite curious. Many who own them say they are pleasant companions. So if you want another animal but you're afraid that they won't get along with the dog or the cat, consider an alpaca.

4. Alpacas come in two breeds.

This is the Suri breed, the most majestic mops you'll ever see. Their wool is often described as "silky dreadlocks."

The huacaya breed are little floofs. They have crimped fleece that looks like it came out of a 2000's style magazine. But we love them anyway.

5. Alpacas come in many colors.

Twenty-two, to be exact. They range from blue-black to a chocolatey color to tan and beige to white. Some are even multicolored, like this beauty:

daanng those eyelashes though

6. Alpacas are very photogenic.

With alpacas, there's no such thing as a bad picture. They're lovely from every angle.

7. Alpacas have adorable names for identification.

Alpacas birth once a year, after a gestation period of about 335 days (So if your mom complains about how long she carried you, tell her to be glad she's not an alpaca. Actually, don't do that. That's probably a bad idea.), and the little babies are called crias. Males are called machos, while females are referred to as hembres.

8. Alpacas look like caterpillars when they lay down.

In this position, they are officially known as "alpacapillars." Another common term is "alpacaloaf."

9. Alpacas are always having a good hair day.

They won't tell you who their hairdresser is, though. Some things an alpaca must keep secret.

10. Alpacas are pretty much always happy.

Does that smile not make you all warm and fuzzy inside? That little face is made of pure rainbows. When they're pleased, alpacas will make a humming noise. Mother alpacas do this to their little cria to calm them.

To sum it up, if anyone ever asks you if you want to go see these fuzzy floofs, tell them "Alpaca my bags."

Until then, good luck on finals, everyone. When they have you stressin, just remember, naps fix everything.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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