The Aftermath: Here's To The Single Girl | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Aftermath: Here's To The Single Girl

A letter of honesty, compassion and genuine love for yourself.

36
The Aftermath: Here's To The Single Girl
Ally Rosenfeld

From the bottom of my heart, here's to the single girl.

Although the relationship(s) are over and done with, it doesn't mean love ceases to exist. Yes, the feelings, the memories, the needs and wants are all real, and they are all there. But for now, it is time for you to try your hardest to move on, let go and let the past be the past.

As my dear friend Ellie once said, " being single helps with personal growth because you are taking care of yourself." It is OK to be single. It is OK to learn to love and be happy with yourself. It is, in fact, acceptable and fine to explore the world by yourself for a while if that is what is best for you. Don't let anyone tell you that you either have to be single to work on yourself, or be in relationship to, in a sense, rebound and get over your past lover. You are the one who should be deciding what to do with your life and how to live it to its fullest.

It's also time for you to realize what you have indeed gained from your past relationship. As I stated, the memories, they are still there forever and ever. Even though the relationship is over, memories, well, they don't just jump out of your mind.

It is quite clear that any relationship, short or long term, makes a sufficient impact on you. You have experienced new things and have had someone be there by your side through the thick moments and thin times. You have learned what to seek in any of your future relationships, and what to beware of. So, basically, you have either touched the surface and have an idea of what a relationship is, or you are quite familiar with the ropes and know when you see either a red or a green flag.

Well, the question you may have pondering in your mind is, what is negative about my past experience(s)? When do I stop, take a moment to myself and come to my senses about what to be aware of not to get myself into with my next relationship? What is positive enough that I should strive for within the foreseeable future? In my opinion, here are what the red and green flags are.

Red:

1. A relationship that hasn't be truthful to yourself or the other person.

2. A relationship where cheating has in fact occurred.

3. A relationship where the bad times sadly outweigh the good ones.

4. A relationship where you aren't quite comfortable being yourself around your partner.

5. Any sort of abusive aspect both physical and mental.

6. A relationship where one partner thinks they are completely dominant over the other, and therefore manipulation occurs.

7. A relationship where one acts in a condescending manner.

8. A relationship where too much fighting occurs.

9. A relationship without any space given to either partner.

10. And, lastly, a relationship where you know deep down that it just isn't reaching the level of happiness, respect and love that you deserve.

Green:

Before I state the green, just know that a relationship doesn't and shouldn't have to be perfect 100 percent of the time. There are harder times within a relationship that do in fact help the two grow stronger.

1. A relationship where you are proud to be with one another.

2. A relationship where the good times indeed outweigh the bad times.

3. A relationship where you are utterly honest with one another on a daily basis.

4. A relationship where cheating does not occur.

5. A relationship where enough space is given to other individuals.

6. A relationship with genuine and authentic feelings of love.

7. A relationship where you and your partner lift each other up instead of bringing each other down.

8. A relationship where mental and physical abuse does not occur.

9. A relationship where a smile arises out of your face most times you are around the other person.

10. A relationship where you may encounter differences, but can work on either agreeing to disagree or completely move on from the circumstance once and for all to be ultimately happy.

11. And, of course, a relationship that feels whatever your definition of "right" may be deep down in your heart.

So, overall to my single ladies out there, I am going to leave you with a quote in regard to the current situation you are in. As famous music artist Wiz Khalifa once stated, "Being single doesn’t necessarily mean you’re available. Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says, 'Do Not Disturb' on your heart."

It's time ladies, to take the few moments, days, weeks, months or maybe even years to get you to realize what you are indeed searching for. The aftermath may not be a piece of cake, but it is one step closer to finding what you truly desire.

- Ally

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
kid
Janko Ferlic
Do as I say, not as I do.

Your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your phone. Beads of sweat begin to saturate your palm as your fingers tremble in fear. The illuminated screen reads, "Missed Call: Mom."

Growing up with strict parents, you learn that a few things go unsaid. Manners are everything. Never talk back. Do as you're told without question. Most importantly, you develop a system and catch on to these quirks that strict parents have so that you can play their game and do what you want.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
tv.com

"Friends" maybe didn’t have everything right or realistic all the time, but they did have enough episodes to create countless reaction GIFs and enough awesomeness to create, well, the legacy they did. Something else that is timeless, a little rough, but memorable? Living away from the comforts of home. Whether you have an apartment, a dorm, your first house, or some sort of residence that is not the house you grew up in, I’m sure you can relate to most of these!

Keep Reading...Show less
man working on a laptop
Pexels

There is nothing quite like family.

Family is kinda like that one ex that you always find yourself running back to (except without all the regret and the angsty breakup texts that come along with it).

Keep Reading...Show less
bored kid
Google Images

No matter how long your class is, there's always time for the mind to wander. Much like taking a shower or trying to fall asleep, sitting in a classroom can be a time when you get some of your best ideas. But, more than likely, you're probably just trying to mentally cope with listening to a boring lecturer drone on and on. Perhaps some of the following Aristotle-esque thoughts have popped into your head during class.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Advice To Live By As Told By Bob's Burgers

The Belchers hold the key to a better life.

1309
Bob's Burgers
Adult Swim

Bob's Burgers is arguably one of the best and most well-written shows on tv today. That, and it's just plain hilarious. From Louise's crazy antics to Tina's deadpan self-confidence, whether they are planning ways to take over school or craft better burgers, the Belchers know how to have fun. They may not be anywhere close to organized or put together, but they do offer up some wise words once and awhile.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments