Time and time again we are faced with difficult decisions, here’s another one for you. When it comes to covering for your close friends or those you love how far would you go? What’s the limit; when is it too much? They say nothing is ever too much for the ones we love, but is that the truth? Everyone tells little white lies occasionally but sometimes they build and build until it becomes too much and then what? Do you let everything collapse or do you try your hardest to protect your friend? Being faced with this issue myself, I’ll be candid I’m one of those people who don’t know where to draw the line. I’m the type of person who will try my hardest to protect and help those I care about. Here’s the thing with that though, when we do this are we actually helping our friend or are we hurting them by continuing to lie for them or to their parents or friends?
It’s not a comfortable situation to be in when you come face to face with someone who doesn’t know the lies and only knows one version of events that couldn’t be further from the actual truth. Put yourself in that situation, if you were to be out and about and came in contact with say your friends parent(s) and they begin talking to you about your friend… They only know what they know, not what you know. What they know is by no means the truth nor is it reality, but it’s all they know. What would you do, do you just smile, nod and agree or do you tell their parents the truth because you are sick and tired of lying? Some of you may read that last statement and think, “of course I’d just agree what kind of friend would I be if I ratted my friend out?” Again, you’re faced with the same question, how far do you go? How much is the friendship worth to you? I have close friends that I care dearly for and so I have covered and lied for them. Does that necessarily make me a bad person or simply a good friend? I don’t know, what I know for sure is that it definitely puts me in a difficult and awkward position.
It can get to a point where you question your own integrity, when put in this type of situation I know I do sometimes. I don’t like liars nor do I like deceit, but by continuing to cover and lie for my friends I am simply becoming all that I abhor. I don’t want to lose friendships but at the same time, the deceit can become overpowering and I am not willing to compromise my morals and beliefs anymore. It all once again goes back to personal preference, what do you do? How would you deal with it? Do you take it far enough to where others will get hurt, such as drinking and driving, drug abuse or manipulating the system? Keep in mind those are larger offenses compared to cheating on a test or lying regarding feelings towards a specific person. Where does your integrity lay? Your morals? Some things are little lies that we don’t think will travel far and maybe I don’t have the foresight of what is going to happen in the future where it becomes a bigger problem. What we think is a simple cover-up can be something that turns someone’s world upside down. There’s a difference between a little lie and a lie that can potentially put someone in a bad position. Or is there? When growing up some of us were taught to stop, think and count to five, is what we are saying the absolute truth or a lie? Things aren’t that simple anymore… I wish they were, but they aren’t. We tend to put others above ourselves, at least I do and sometimes we don’t think before we act anymore we just go. We do what we think is best without looking at the big picture, we side with our friends because we think it’s the best and only option but it isn’t.
Here’s a thought, instead of helping our friends lie, how about we help them in coming clean and find ways in which to be honest and tell the truth. As friends, it’s important to try and help each other, but at what cost? Leading by example is much more important than learning to lie and help cover up. Nobody’s perfect, we all have our flaws but it’s when the lies begin dictating our lives that there’s an issue.
I tend to find myself in this type of situation often… Do I enjoy it? No. Am I “simply" trying to help my friends? Yes, absolutely. Do I necessarily always know what’s best and how to get out of it? No. Let me leave you with a couple of words here as far as this topic goes. Do as you please not as you do. What seems like the best decision now for you and all those involved probably won’t be in the future. In the wise words of Abraham Lincoln, “Honesty is the best policy."