Prompt: You hang out with friends but accidentally run into someone you've been avoiding.
She was afraid. Not of him. Of what she felt for him. Desdemona rubbed her head wearily as she contemplated her situation for the umpteenth time. She was so tired of these circles he was spinning her in. This whole thing is so complicated. It all started a few weeks previous…
“Mona!” She turned in the direction her friend Amber was calling her as she walked into the cafeteria. Smiling, she parted ways with Danny who headed straight for his friends. She was happy, as she always was when she got to spend time with her best friend. Stupidly happy. Blissfully ignorant to the reality about to be dropped on her like a ton of bricks. Amber pulled a chair up to the table for her and said, in a very serious tone, “I need to talk to you after you get your food.” Confused, Mona nodded and stood in line, wondering all the while what was going on.
Returning to the table, Amber immediately pounced on her. “Were you in Presser the other night with Danny and Kamilla?” She nodded that she was and Amber got straight to the point. “Danny came and talked to me and Molly and a couple others in one of the practice rooms. He told us he didn’t know what to do. He said he knows you like him and he doesn’t want to be anything more than friends. We all told him he needed to talk to you, but he said he didn’t want to upset you. I’m sorry, girl.” Mona sat back in shock and immediately looked over to where he was sitting across the cafeteria. Her heart squeezed painfully as she saw him laughing at something Zeke had said.
Mona put down the hamburger she had picked up before Amber started talking to her. She lost all appetite and felt sick to her stomach. All color drained from her face as the words penetrated the fog in her brain. She tried to play it off, shrugging as if her heart hadn’t just been ripped out of her chest and stepped on. However, she knew that her face twisted into a sad resemblance of a smile and her laugh had more than an edge of hysteria to it. Amber looked at her with concern and asked if she was okay. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” The lie easily rolled off her tongue, but her tone wasn’t very convincing, neither was her shallow, shaky breathing that preceded her anxiety attacks. Her head swam, making her dizzy and unsteady.
She managed to stay for another ten minutes before the suffocating feeling threatened to overwhelm her. Mona walked as fast as she could across the room to throw away her untouched food. The glimpse of his concerned face watching her made her fly out the door and run across campus to the music building. She ran up the concrete steps and walked quickly across the lobby floor to the side stairs. Taking the stairs two at a time, she tripped in between the second and third floor. A sob sprung from her throat as her knee slammed into the ground and she tried to catch herself on her hands. She began to hyperventilate in her desperation to shut herself in her practice room and lock herself in with the lights off so no one could find her.
Mona clutched at her chest, wondering when she had become so emotionally attached, emotionally dependent on him. On Danny. Her Danny boy. She fell to her knees and folded herself down to the ground, no longer trying to contain her sobs. Her anxiety attack made her thoughts ping around in her brain. The now-obvious signs of the truth Amber had just hit her with presented themselves. Hindsight’s 20/20, I guess. I can’t believe I was so stupid and blind. Slowly, she stopped crying and calmed her thoughts, a numb feeling taking over. Mona got up and walked to the mirror on the wall, inwardly grimacing at her face. She made herself as presentable as she could manage and unlocked the door. Taking a deep breath, she walked to the top of the stairs but froze. Danny was at the landing between second and third floor. Right in the way of her exit. She started backing away, towards the other set of stairs and almost got away when he looked up. He took stock of her tear-stained face and asked what was wrong, still coming up the stairs. Swallowing, she shook her head wordlessly. “Dess?” Only he called her that. It felt like some invisible hand had punched her in the gut, the sharp pain clearing her mind. She turned and quickly walked down the stairs, calling behind her, “Don’t pretend you care.”
The next couple weeks passed in a haze of avoiding him. Her friends were worried about her, and she hated that, but she couldn’t seem to pull herself out of the funk that had fallen over her that night Amber told her the truth. She missed him with every fiber of her being. To keep herself from texting him she had to constantly tell herself that if he hadn’t reached out to her after two weeks, then he didn’t want her. She had to stop loving him. He obviously didn’t want her. The pain still surprised her every time she thought about him not wanting her. She thought it would have gone away.
Desdemona sighed. She knew the next part of the story was the reason she was in this mess right now. She had texted him. It was an emotional text, full of anger and hurt and weakness and wounded pride. They had fought. The next day, he initiated a conversation with her. Her heart pounded at the small notion. The hopeful thoughts, long suppressed, could be contained no longer. Maybe she and Danny could be friends after all, maybe they would be fine, maybe she could have her person back. Alas, it would not last long.
She knew now, without a doubt, that he didn’t (and possibly never would) feel the same way about her as she did him. This realization had once again brought her to her knees, but no tears came. Mona’s body simply ached. She was getting stronger. She would survive without him. However, seeing him was painful enough, and she couldn’t escape it. They had classes together every day, multiple times a day. They had the same group of friends. It was a small school. Every day was a struggle. She was avoiding him. She only hoped he knew it.
Desdemona hadn’t spoken to him for nearly a month. She had learned how to be happy, even with the undercurrent of emptiness that filled her. Kamilla and Amber were both still worried about her, even though they had stopped asking her if she was okay. They resorted to trying to keep her busy and distracted, which worked. Except…
“Hey girlie! Come with us! We’re gonna go hit the town tonight!” Desdemona rolled her eyes at Kamilla and Amber, thankful for her friends but mindful of the homework sitting on her desk. “I don’t know guys, I have homework due in a couple days.” She might as well have not said anything; they weren’t going to take no for an answer. Smiling to herself, she grabbed her purse and left with her friends. During the 20-minute car ride, they blasted the music and sang at the top of their lungs, laughing at each other in good humor. Since it was lunch time, they decided to hit up the food court at the mall, talking about classes and enjoying spending time together.
After lunch they walked around the mall, trying on clothes they knew they couldn’t afford and having a blast. Amber and Kamilla even agreed to letting Mona spend 15 minutes in the bookstore, though they had to drag her out when her time was up. The trio continued through the mall, no cares in the world. Mona suggested they go play mini-golf in the blacklight room in the middle of the mall. The other two enthusiastically agreed, and an hour later, the group staggered into the skee ball room, hardly able to stand from laughing so hard. Desdemona looked around at the skee ball machines, searching for a free one. Three-quarters of the way down the row of machines, her heart skipped a beat as her eyes locked with the achingly familiar grey-blue eyes that haunted her dreams. Danny.
