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The Acceptance Of Denial

How I've learned to accept denial during my first two years at college.

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The Acceptance Of Denial
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Throughout my entire life, I have been VERY lucky and did not have to handle rejection as often as I thought I would. I applied for my first job and got it, I was able to be a part of my school musical production every year, I was a member of all the clubs that almost everyone applied for in high school, and I even got accepted to my dream college. Since I have dealt with this much acceptance in my life, I assumed that when entering college I would have the same luck.

And I didn't. And that's okay.

When I first arrived at college, I knew that one of the first things I HAD to do was audition for the musicals there. I have been performing in musicals my entire life (16 to be exact) and going into the school year, I thought that I would soon be adding musical number 17 to my list.

Then auditions came out of NOWHERE.

In reality, they didn't come out of nowhere, but as a first semester freshman, they sure as hell did. Auditions were in early September, and I was still adjusting to the craziness that the first semester brought to me at college. Time management, classes, school work, new friends, and just everything began to add up, and I felt like I was drowning. Yet, my heart pushed me to keep going as I knew I had to get back on stage during my college career.

So, I went to my first audition not as prepared as I usually am and noticed that when the cast list came out, my name wasn't on it for the first time in my life.

My world came crashing down.

I couldn't believe it. I came from an extremely competitive high school theatre program, and I didn't get into the college theatre program. How could that be?

I pushed this thought to the side as I sent out my application to be a tour guide at my college, since I believed that I would be perfect to give tours to perspective students. I applied and even made it to the second round of interviews but unfortunately did not receive the position.

My world came crashing down.

I thought that I would be a perfect candidate to give tours and educate perspective students. I started to begin to wonder if my goals that I had set for myself before college were even attainable.

Spring semester came and so did auditions for a new musical. Although I was hesitant at first, I decided not to let defeat stop me from doing something I have done for almost all my life. To my surprise, I actually got into the cast of the spring musical.

I was so excited. I did it! However, you cannot always be high on life all of the time because due to the major commitment of rehearsals that the musical requires, I had to drop formal recruitment for Greek Life, another dream of mine in college.

My world came crashing down.

I realized that I could not have both dreams at once at this point in my college career. I could try, however, to attain my dream of becoming an ambassador again by applying again in the fall. I made it to the first round of interviews, but to my surprise I did not make it to the second round of interviews. It's rumored that it is almost guaranteed that you get the ambassador position if you made it to the second round of interviews the year before.

On top of that, I also did not get into the musical and informal recruitment for Greek life did not work out in the fall.

My world came crashing down.

At this point, I wasn't happy with myself. I felt very defined by the activities that I was a part of in college and I began to wonder, "Why can't I be a part of that? Why did I get rejected?" I felt like a outsider looking in, and I didn't exactly know where my home would be on campus.

I decided to go out again for formal recruitment for Greek life this spring semester to see if I could eventually find my home on campus. The last (and most important) goal I had set for myself was to find my home in a sorority with a group of girls that I like and that were committed to their philnatirophy.

Unfortunately, I got the bitter end of recruitment, since it did not work out and I wound up dropping.

To my surprise, my world did not come crashing down.

While many would be upset over this, I realized that I wasn't sad or upset. I realized that sometimes in life, some things aren't meant to be. For me, it wasn't meant for me to be in a sorority, to be an ambassador, or even to be in a musical every semester. And that's okay. In life, we are NEVER going to be on a high. We must learn to accept to deal with the lows that life can throw at us.

I was at a low in life after Greek Life didn't work out; however, a couple days after I dropped recruitment, I received an email stating that I had just been accepted to be a Resistant Assistant (RA) for the upcoming school year!

I was ecstatic, as this was definitely the good news that I needed. If you told me a year ago that I would be an RA in college, I wouldn't believe you. Fast forward to present day me and I'm so excited to start this new position next semester. I'm also looking into more clubs to get even more involved on campus.

Life does have a crazy way of working out, because sometimes it gives you the goals that you thought you would have never wanted. Sometimes, the goals that you set for yourself are not goals that are meant to happen, and we have to learn to accept that denial.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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