The way we live today, it is almost as if some sort of suffering is seen as obligatory.
What do I mean by that?
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Don't you feel that if you go through a break-up, for instance, that it is as if you're expected by society to grieve and suffer?
Or if you are rejected from a major career opportunity that you are expected to be sad and disappointed?
Or if you fall sick, you're expected to lament your fate and the stress-inducing consequences of not completing your work?
It is as if these responses are seen as normal and if you are to react otherwise, you're seen as strange or worse, insensitive.
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How could you not care?
After all, it is human to care. It is human to invest yourself so much into something - an outcome, an expectation, an ideal scenario - that the failure to obtain it, logically, must be met with a devastating outpouring of emotion. Otherwise, it is as if you simply didn't care enough!
But is that really true?
Does my big emotional reaction to failure mean that I cared enough? Or is it merely an excuse not to work on ourselves to better learn to accept that which is thrown at us?
The ability to accept is integral to a happy life.
Why is it then that we find it strange if someone is able to accept their circumstances with the snap of a finger?
Because it is difficult for most of us. We find it incredibly challenging to detach ourselves from the ensuing disappointments, feelings of injustice, anger, and resentment. We find ourselves easily lost in the fears that come along in an uncertain future.
Isn't that all the more reason, though, to learn the art of acceptance? Don't we all want to be free from the pain of disappointment, the stress of anger and the anxiety of fear?
I say yes!
The person who is able to accept the circumstances around him, in fact, cares so much about the happenings of his life that he does not want to waste a single second in self-loathing, pity, grief or pain. He knows that those emotions will arise, but there is no reason to get lost in them.
They can exist but they do not have to stop him from moving on and continuing to live life to the fullest.
Cultivating the ability to accept is a form of self-care. It is knowing your human limitations, recognizing them and allowing yourself to be free from suffering. It is knowing when it is time to let go, to stop resisting the flow of the Universe and understanding the importance of capitalizing on every living and breathing moment.
It is understanding deeply that you shape and create your life with your thoughts and feelings and so choosing to accept and let go rather than resist and suffer in order to create a happier future.
So the next time you see someone not suffering as how you think they ought to based on the events of their life, don't judge them. In fact, perhaps admire the strength they have to continually choose to accept what happens to them rather than channel energy into suffering and choose to learn from their way of life to benefit your own.
Who knows, you may just be happier.
