A: Alcohol
Let’s be honest, this is the only reason you go uptown anyways.
B: Beat The Clock
Do you beat the clock or does the clock beat you? Answer: the clock always wins
C: CVP
You only still go here because it’s the only place that accepts your fake.
D: (Lil') Dickey's
Standing on the wall is a Towson rite of passage.
E: Eating everything in sight
Whether it’s Lotsa, Kerb, McDonalds, Insomnia, or Slice, catch me at every single one of them after a night out.
F: Frat Boys
You can recognize Brad and Chad from Apple Theta Chai by their vineyard vines, Patagonia, and timbs. They can be seen with a juul in hand and will probably have just finished shotgunning a four loko.
G: Greene Turtle
So. Many. Stairs. But so worth it once you actually make the climb up.
H: Hyde
There have definitely been nights where I’ve gone uptown completely sober just to pet Hyde and get a hotdog.
I: Insomnia Cookies
Your uptown experience was forever changed once Insomnia Cookies came to Towson.
J: Juul
*Can’t see Rec Room through all the juul smoke* Will be seen in the hand of every Brad and Chad. Chances are you will see someone hitting a juul or charging one at any given point throughout your night.
K: Kent House
The quietest place uptown. You go here for 20 minutes when Turtle and Rec get to crowded and you need a break from all the people.
L: Lotsa
The Uptown holy grail.
M: Mozzarella Sticks from Kerb
For when the line at Lotsa is just too long.
N: Natty Light
Usually being shotgunned by Brad or Chad, Natty Light is effectively overpriced water in a can.
O: Overrated
Uptown in a word.
P: Pitchers
These are dangerous because you order one for the pics to post on Snapchat but 5 minutes later you are already half way done with it.
Q: Questioning my life choices
*Immediately regrets every life decision you made the next morning*
R: Rec Room
Where you go when Turtle denies your fake.
S: Sorority Girls
The reason you can’t get into Rec until 12 because Delta Everest Pie decided to have a social.
T: Torrent
Had to put this on the list because they’re making a comeback… apparently.
U: Unbuttoned Shirts
The longer you stay uptown the more hairy chests you see.
V: Vineyard Vines
Can be seen on every frat brother. Usually identified by their t-shirt, quarter zip pullover, or hat. They are usually more protective of their vineyard vines then they are of their own well-being.
W: Walking Home
For when the uber prices are just too expensive.
X: Xs on Hands
The easiest way to tell who is underage.
Y: York Road
The road where it happens
Z: ZZZs
The sound made after an eventful night uptown.
