For those of you who prefer to spend your summers outside and get still get paid, here are a few things we lifeguards can all relate to and empathize with as the summer progresses. 

Being a lifeguard means so much more than just sitting by the pool and getting a tan. As someone who has lifeguarded every summer for the past 4 years I have seen the good, the bad, the ugly, and sometimes down right ridiculous things that can come with the territory of working as a lifeguard. For my fellow "life-savers" out there, we can all share in the wonderful memories that our summers spent at the pool or the beach have brought us, as well as give a universal sigh of relief when the season finally ends.

1. You have a wicked lifeguard tan line.

When you're among your lifeguard friends, it is cool to compare who has the best one-piece swimsuit or sandal tan lines. But the second you go to the beach with your non-lifeguard friends you could not look more awkward in a bathing suit. 

2. There is no sound more beautiful to your ears than thunder.

On a cloudy day a lifeguards ears are always perked up hoping to hear the sound of rumbling in the sky. The sound of thunder means we get to clear the pool deck and hopefully get to have an unexpected extra day off, or if anything a few hours of pay to sit in the guard room and hang out.

3. There is no better form of birth control than spending a day working at a crowded pool.

Everyone loves the sound of children's laughter, but when lifeguards spend all day watching hundreds of troublesome kids that somehow find a way to break every pool rule, all we want is for the kids to be gone.

After a long day of guarding a pool full of kids, we have never wanted anything less to do with kids in our life.

When those children are relentless in breaking every pool rule possible and insist on running everywhere in the water park with their 10 friends, a lifeguard has never wanted to get as far away from children as possible for as long as possible.

4. Camp counselor are the lazy ones who don't do their job.

What is a lifeguards biggest fear? DAY-CAMP! This means hundreds of rowdy kids are about to show up with not nearly enough counselors who don't do their job to watch their kids anyway. They usually just end up sitting with their other counselor friends chatting up a storm while their kids run around like they own the place.

5. Parents don't understand that we are not babysitters.

Our job is to protect everyone at the pool from drowning, not to make sure your children don't wander into the deep end while you sip on a piña colada and tan.

6. You've yelled at someone (somewhere else besides the pool) to walk, not run.

Force of habit. This usually happens in the school hallways and is usually very embarrassing once you realize what you just did.

7. When you go to a beach or pool with your friends, you find yourself constantly watching the water for distressed swimmers.

Again, force of habit. Even if there is a lifeguard on duty you can't help but doubt their abilities to watch the water so you have to do it for them.

8. The satisfaction you get from getting to blow your whistle.

This tiny piece of plastic that holds the power to get everyone's attention within 100 yards. Every time you use it it is all eyes on you, and everyone wants to know what you have to say because obviously it's super important.

9. You love giving kids the evil eye.

To kids the lifeguard is more scary than their mom. They often know when they are breaking the rules and will look at a lifeguard to see if they noticed. All we have to do it stare them down for a few seconds and eventually they shyly back away from whatever it was they weren't supposed to be doing. There is nothing better than being able to enforce the rules without even speaking a word.

10. You feel so uncomfortable when you have to tell an adult not to do something.

That awkward moment when an adult is breaking multiple rules and you debate back and forth for a few minutes whether or not they'll eventually stop or if you have to endure the pain of telling an elder what they can and cannot do.

11. Always being worried you will have to utilize all of the skills you learned in lifeguard training.

Lifeguards are fully trained in CPR, extensive first-aid, and to be a first responder in emergency situations such as seizures, and strokes. Yes, we know what do if any of these things should happen, but please god don't let it happen in front of us. Every time someone says "ouch my head" we immediately pray that it is not a spinal injury. 

12. You calculate in your head how many more rotations until the shift is over.

It can get boring sometimes sitting in the guard chair. Often, if the water is not too crowded, we spend most of the time counting how many more chairs we have until our next break and how many full rotations until we get off. It is an exact science because there is nothing worse than if you miscalculate and you end up having to rotate more than you mentally prepared yourself for. 

13. You've developed a small superiority complex from thinking that you are pretty much god of the pool and your word is law.

You can say pretty much anything you want and patrons have to listen to you. Especially kids. "No you can't swim under that rope." "Why not?" "Because it's dangerous to the other swimmers and also because I'm the boss and I said so." BOOM. 

14. Safety break? More like best half hour of the entire day!

In addition to counting down to how many chairs we have left until our next break, we also count down the minutes until the beloved half hour of safety break. Not a single person in the pool and you can finally relax and know that no has died on your watch.

15. You know that there is a special place in hell for those people who stay in the water until the last minute of the pool being open.

On a cold overcast Monday evening at 7:58 PM, no one wants to still be guarding a pool. Every lifeguard hates that one family that insists on going down the waterside as many times as possible before closing time at 8:00 PM.

16. Despite getting sunburned, heat exhaustion, and a very short temper for beach and pool patrons, you know that your job is important and you get a sense of satisfaction from showing up to work everyday and doing your job right.