Do you find yourself suddenly all interested in the events of the American Revolution? Do you think your history classes would be much more interesting if the Founding Fathers were portrayed as rap geniuses? Do you wish that you could be best friends with Lin-Manuel Miranda? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you've probably discovered the incredible wonders of "Hamilton: An American Musical" and you're probably finding that you are just a little obsessed. Or maybe a lot obsessed... But don't worry my friend, most of the world is right there with you! Now, since "Hamilton" just started previews for the Chicago cast, Hamil-mania is in full swing, as is the demand for tickets. Trying to get or successfully purchasing "Hamilton" tickets is an emotional experience, and I am here to walk you through the stages someone experiences while getting some of the most coveted tickets in theatre.
1. Blind Optimism
Before tickets even go on sale, you will have a sense of completely blind hope because you know how many people are trying to buy seats and you know how few seats there are in comparison, but something inside of you has to believe that today is your day and nothing can stop you from getting those tickets. Without this optimism, you would be reduced to nothing but a blubbering heap of doubt who does not believe that the theater gods can make miracles happen.
2. Crippling Anxiety
As you are trying to find tickets, you will feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety due to the fact that you don't know when or where you'll find seats or if you'll even be able to secure them. The whole time you may find yourself panicking that the ticket website will crash at any second and you will lose any chance of witnessing the magnificence that is "Hamilton". This anxiety may induce shortness of breath, a racing heart beat, or dizziness. But don't worry, this will pass soon enough.
3. Literal Shock
Once you place the tickets in that beautiful little virtual shopping cart and receive your confirmation email, you may go into literal shock. Your hands will start shaking, your voice may quiver, and tears might come to your eyes. It is possible that you will fall to the ground if you are not sitting down. You may also realize later that you blacked out for a few minutes and cannot remember what you said or did after getting your tickets. This is OK. You just purchased tickets for "Hamilton". What did you expect would happen?4. Utter Disbelief
If you have been waiting for this moment for months or your obsession with this musical is a strong one, it is likely that you will find yourself not believing that you actually are going to see "Hamilton". You may find yourself checking your email to be sure that that confirmation is real or having to remind yourself that this is not a dream. The state of disbelief may come in waves now and then, even days after you got tickets.5. Realization of Reality
After your initial disbelief, you will eventually come to the realization that this is actually happening. You are going to see "Hamilton". You are going to be "in the room where it happens". This acceptance will likely result in a sense of calm and that everything is right in the world. You may find yourself just sitting still and smiling at nothing. This serenity will not last very long because once the realization sets in, your brain and body will launch into...6. Hyper Euphoria
Once you've finally understood what is happening you will not be able to control yourself. You'll find yourself jumping up and down or running around your apartment or randomly screaming. This may also result in yelling "I am not throwing away my shot!" or other such lyrics from the show because you are unstoppable at this moment in time. Due to this, you might also start to believe that you too are a rap genius and should definitely audition for the role of Lafayette/Jefferson, even though you probably do not have the mad skills, yo, to pull it off.7. Almost Annoying Pride
When you've calmed down from your euphoric episode, you will want to share your incredibly awesome news with anyone and everyone you know even if they couldn't care less about "Hamilton" or musical theater in general. (Side note - if you know people who don't care about either of these things.... why are you even friends with them?) You will probably post about it on Facebook and Twitter and try to get Lin-Manuel Miranda to notice you exist and just generally be annoying to anyone who doesn't have tickets. But, you know what, you do you. Be excited. You get to see "Hamilton" and that is freaking cool, man.8. Anticipation For What Might Be The Greatest Day of Your Life
Finally, you've made it to the last stage, which is never-ending anticipation for the day you get to witness the building of our country in epic musical theater form. You're just going to have to take a lesson from Mr. Aaron Burr and "Wait For It", but at least you know your waiting will end in glory instead of killing Alexander Hamilton.... whoops. Maybe that day is in a few weeks or perhaps you have to suffer for months before you actually get to see it. Either way, listening to the "Hamilton" soundtrack now is a totally different experience than it was during the times of B.T., Before Tickets.Disclaimer: These stages are subject to change order depending on who you are and they may also occur multiple times over the course of your "Hamilton" ticket experience.