Yes it happened. The big sports day that everyone waits for. The day where people spend all day dressed in their team's colors, eating copious amounts of food, trash talking others on social media, and hoping that one team scores more points than the other. Being that I am not a big sports fan, I spend this day observing those around me as they throw lifelong friendships out the window over the results of a game. I personally did not watch the game, but I noticed that there are certain types of people who have watched this past Super Bowl.
1. The Patriots Fan
Typically someone from the Northern regions of the United States. Both males and females are obsessed with that Brady guy. Somehow able to pronounce all those weird names of guys on the team. Can be seen glaring at those wearing red during the weeks leading up to the game. Probably bit their fingernails down to the quick until whenever the Pats decided to score. Will spend the rest of the year gloating about how they won again.
2. The Falcons Fan
Someone who decided to pay attention to the NFL instead of the SEC for like two games (and one of them was the Super Bowl). Overused the #riseup hashtag and annoyed even people from Atlanta. Said the phrase "dirty birds" way too many times (why is the bird dirty idk). Got their hopes up too quickly and jinxed themselves. Will spend the rest of the year "mourning" and trying to get out of their responsibilities.
3. The "I just like the game, I don't care who wins" fan
Says they don't care who wins. Tries to be impartial. Actually, has a favorite team and gets mad/happy when their team loses/wins. Probably wearing the colors of one of the teams playing, but just says they are wearing it because they "can't wear both team colors and these just complement my skin tone the best"
4. Only watches for the commercials
Spends about two months beforehand talking about the previous Super Bowl's commercials. Makes everyone watch their past favorites relentlessly. Can be seen shushing people during commercials even though they were talking during the actual game. Will spend the next few months talking about this year's commercials. Will become flustered when I say I haven't seen any of the commercials because like "how could I not watch, the commercials are the best part".
5. Only turns on the tv/ un-mutes the tv for the halftime performance
Will live tweet/blog/Facebook update the entire performance. Will think that their opinion about why this performance was the best/ worst is the most relevant. Most likely will mention Beyonce's halftime show. Spends the rest of the game making memes about this year's performer.
6. Person who watches the Puppy Bowl instead
Will try to make you feel bad for watching humans play instead of puppies. Can be seen using the exact phrase "But how could you watch the Super Bowl when the Puppy Bowl is on???" on all forms of social media. Will spend the next week posting pictures of the various puppies who played but no one is really that mad about it.
7. Person who doesn't watch the game at all
Possibly has better things to be doing, like studying or working. May have complete apathy towards all forms of organized sports. May refuse to watch just to spite the die hard fans who are trying to force them to pick a side. Probably thinks they are better than you because they didn't watch it. Either that or they just don't have cable. Will have to suffer through both sides talking about the game for the next two weeks.
Remember, folks, this is just a game and in a week you'll find something else to argue about with strangers on the Internet. Go sports!
